I decided to go on a mini shopping spree today. I hadn't bought new, I mean brand new from a real store, clothes in awhile. Sure, I'd bought stuff at thrift stores, but I had not bought anything brand spanking new off the rack in awhile. So, I treated myself to a few dresses. Dresses are nice, feminine, sometimes flattering... I bought three, and a skirt.
The total was outrageous, but I justify this because I need to start looking my age... I guess. I'm twenty four now, I should probably start dressing like an adult. I mean, the teenage stuff is comfy, but it's not exactly screaming, "I'm mature, I'm responsible, take me seriously!"
And dresses aren't exactly going to scream,"I'm getting on in my years." I don't want to look like my mother yet, that's all I'm saying. They are about right for my age, I think. And they're really cute dresses. At least I think they are, at the moment.
And of course, I had to go to a specialty store for us bigger woman. Main stream America does not accommodate the plus size woman well. I want cute stylish clothes too, damn it. I don't want to dress twenty years older than I am, and I don't think my husband wants me to either. It always infuriates me when I go to regular stores shopping. I mean, all the cute clothes are only made up to a size 14 (If you're lucky.) I haven't fit a 14 since middle school. Even at my ideal BMI I was a size 16, you know, because I have those wide (non) child-bearing hips. I have curves, even when I'm skinny I am not a petite thing.
Of course, the dresses were smoking, I was on a high. I found many cute things that fit. I was happy. Until... you know where this is going. The next stall over, in the dressing room. I hear happy laughs, questions about clothes being able to expand. You know, because she's carrying her third. They're so excited, her and her friend.
Instant kill of my buzz. Thanks ladies.
I do not begrudge you your happiness, but damn.
It's moments like this that I feel like the universe is a damn bully. As if this big bully gets off on kicking you while you're down.
I, in my dejected state, went to a book store next. I ended up picking up two books about adoption... which where mixed in with the pregnancy and parenting books, of course.
Thanks a lot.
I think that's enough for one day, don't you?