Sunday, March 29, 2009

No Privacy

I decided to go on a mini shopping spree today. I hadn't bought new, I mean brand new from a real store, clothes in awhile. Sure, I'd bought stuff at thrift stores, but I had not bought anything brand spanking new off the rack in awhile. So, I treated myself to a few dresses. Dresses are nice, feminine, sometimes flattering... I bought three, and a skirt.

The total was outrageous, but I justify this because I need to start looking my age... I guess. I'm twenty four now, I should probably start dressing like an adult. I mean, the teenage stuff is comfy, but it's not exactly screaming, "I'm mature, I'm responsible, take me seriously!"

And dresses aren't exactly going to scream,"I'm getting on in my years." I don't want to look like my mother yet, that's all I'm saying. They are about right for my age, I think. And they're really cute dresses. At least I think they are, at the moment.

And of course, I had to go to a specialty store for us bigger woman. Main stream America does not accommodate the plus size woman well. I want cute stylish clothes too, damn it. I don't want to dress twenty years older than I am, and I don't think my husband wants me to either. It always infuriates me when I go to regular stores shopping. I mean, all the cute clothes are only made up to a size 14 (If you're lucky.) I haven't fit a 14 since middle school. Even at my ideal BMI I was a size 16, you know, because I have those wide (non) child-bearing hips. I have curves, even when I'm skinny I am not a petite thing.

Of course, the dresses were smoking, I was on a high. I found many cute things that fit. I was happy. Until... you know where this is going. The next stall over, in the dressing room. I hear happy laughs, questions about clothes being able to expand. You know, because she's carrying her third. They're so excited, her and her friend.

Instant kill of my buzz. Thanks ladies.

I do not begrudge you your happiness, but damn.
It's moments like this that I feel like the universe is a damn bully. As if this big bully gets off on kicking you while you're down.

I, in my dejected state, went to a book store next. I ended up picking up two books about adoption... which where mixed in with the pregnancy and parenting books, of course.

Thanks universe.
Thanks a lot.

I think that's enough for one day, don't you?


Celia said...

Yuck. I wish adoption was separated away from the other baby books. At my store we do keep the infertility books FAR away from the pregnancy books.

I am sure you looked completely adorable.

Kristin said...

Ugh...sorry you had such a rude (not really but you n\know what I mean) interruption to your shopping trip. Do we get to see pics of the dresses?

Kristin said...

And, you should check out Avenue. They have fabulous, reasonably priced clothes for plus size women.

Penny said...

Please show dress pictures if you can!

And, yuck about the woman in the stall next door. It's weird how I basically couldn't get away from inadvertant comments about pregnancy when I was going through infertility. It's as if I was suddenly a magnet for that kind of thing.

Personally i would have laughed (perhaps bitterly) at the idea that this woman is going shopping in a non-maternity while pregnant with her third. Who is she fooling?