I am officially out of v.icod.in, just over the counter pain killers for me now. My mind is starting to clear up from the na.rcot.ic induced fog. I'm starting to think more clearly. And I'm not entirely sure if that is good or bad.
Day six after the miscarriage, still bleeding heavily of course. The price to pay for my super plush lining that should have been nourishing my little embryo. The cramping has lessened, I think... I hope. So, that is very good. Maybe it's almost over. Physically at least.
Emotionally... I cry at times, but I am still pretty numb. I didn't realize how jaded I have become, I wonder if I'll ever feel right again. I'm not even asking for normal (What is normal anyway?) No, I just want to feel human. I just want to feel like everything is going to be alright.
In my mind, I know that someday it will be... but I can't seem to reconcile my heart to that belief. At least not right now. Maybe someday, but not today.
And I'm starting to think that the cabin place I had my heart set on doesn't want my buisness. They aren't answering their phones, and I've emailed them and everything. You can reserve it online, but I am not reserving anything if I can't talk to a real person. Screw that.
I guess I'll have to start looking for a different cabin place. I had my heart set on that one, I like the look of their cabins more than the others... but I guess I can lower my expectations. I've gotten pretty used to doing that.