Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dealing

It was a long day. I ran around all day completing neccessary errands... and I have officially blown our entire tax refund. Go me. Of course, most of the things I spent the money on were quite neccessary. So I suppose that's okay... some of it was needed but not really really neccessary (Like the cabin rental.)

I can't believe how quickly the mind acts to restore mental capacities when you've been threw something traumatic. All the details really do seem to slip through the cracks, the memories fade and tarnish, and life goes on.

Physically, I am much much better. I don't even really need over-the-counter pain meds right now, so that's good.

Life really does go on, leaving only subtle traces of what we've lost.
To small for others to notice... but we see them. Something missing, something invisible from the naked eye. Like subtle little chunks of me have died. Each breath I can feel the drag of those missing pieces, being pulled so tenderly, yet I remain standing. I keep living. Riddled with holes and uncertainty, I stand. Even though it would be so much more natural to fall down.

5 comments:

Antigone said...

Our minds seem fairly resilient. We just keep chugging along.

You got tax refund? Maybe you can explain to me what I did wrong with my W-4. *sigh*

WiseGuy said...

Mind gets back to shape soon! It is the heart that remembers its vacant spots for long!

G$ said...

I'm still waiting on my mind to get back to normal. It's doing the stuff, but it's far too distracted.

I am glad you are physically feeling better. It makes dealing with the mind a bit more tolerable.

Kristin said...

"Riddled with holes and uncertainty, I stand. Even though it would be so much more natural to fall down. "

Wow...that is so succinct and so very accurate. I am glad you are still standing and don't forget we are here to hold you up too.

Michelle said...

I am glad that you are physically feeling better. I just wanted to let you know I have been thinking about you and sending you hugs!