Monday, April 22, 2013

I fail-

I meant to hold off on testing until tomorrow, but A neglected to hide the tests from me. I have the worst willpower, and that man is such an enabler. Gah. Fail! So, of course it was negative. 11dpo, and while that's still early I feel a bit down. I was actually pretty hopeful for this cycle, I kept trying to keep myself grounded but I was really hoping.

I'll retest in a couple days, but I'm not very optimistic at this point. I know, I know: ra ra ra, it's still early! don't give up hope! I would rather start mentally preparing for the next cycle though. Sorry! If things change, well, AWESOME. I would love to have my pessimism thrown back in my face! As it is though, I'm going to prepare for the worst. I know it's still early, but with my history I know when I need to start preparing. It's 11dpo and I used a test with a sensitivity of 10... so, yeah, it doesn't look good. We can still cross our fingers for a late implantation, but I'd rather start the process towards acceptance. I'd rather have a happy surprise than a huge let down. any. day.
 
I'm going to the zoo today with my friend and our kids, so hopefully that will take my mind off things. It's a beautiful day; the sun is shining, it shouldn't be freezing, and some fresh air will do me good. Hopefully we don't have any unexpected issues. With the way my luck has been going, and those damn gremlins I seem to bring with me, you never know!

10 comments:

Sadie said...

Sorry this cycle looks out for you. I am the same, in that I test super early mostly because of my history of miscarriage, wanting to catch a potential pregnancy early in case any intervention can make a difference. Also, I always feel like a few negative HPTs leading up to my period makes the whole thing less devastating. (yes, my mind plays cruel games with me).

AnotherDreamer said...

Sadie, I definitely understand that though! Sometimes the negatives definitely help you prepare.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I believe the makers of peesticks also put something in them as cigarette manufacturers do to make them super-addictive. It's their fault; not yours.

I'm sorry, sweetie. Holding you in my heart as you continue to wait. Hope the zoo takes your mind off things.

Celia said...

True. If there is are tests in the house I will PEE ON THEM EVERY DAY TIL THEY ARE GONE.

I did not even ovulate and here it is on freaking CD 22. So maybe we can ride the ride next month together.

MrsSpock said...

I have zero ability to withhold peeing on a stick too. Ugh! This was a fail for us too.

Rebecca said...

Sorry this cycle wasn't the one.

iamstacey said...

I don't think I can bear to look at another pee stick as long as I live. I don't even like looking at the ones at work and I'm testing other people! And I'm paid to do it! I had too many of those joyful "+'s" turn into early miscarriages or chem pregnancies.
But either way, it's the disappointment that breaks our hearts, I really do get it.

AnotherDreamer said...

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the kind words. My day started out pretty awesome despite the BFN, the zoo was awesome, but then it went downhill again. I'm exhausted now.

Celia, I'm sorry you haven't ovulated yet. I hope it happens soon!

MrsSpock, sorry it was a bust for you too.

An Aspiring Mom-To-Be said...

I'm totally a few days late, but just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. Sorry for the disappointment. Glad the zoo was great. Hoping things get better!

Heather said...

Yip it is early. Hope there's still a chance for a positive :)