Today-

I am a day more pregnant than I've ever been in my life.

If I make it to tomorrow, I'll officially have reached 6 weeks.

I keep getting gas pains, and then I can't tell if it's gas cramps or my uterus is cramping. Or both. And then I spend all night trying to find a comfortable position to lay in and worrying. I've been taking acetaminophen to get through the nights.

I also keep freaking out over every cramp and twinge. I expected to wake up to blood this morning because I was really crampy last night, but there was just some brown spotting. Which of course still freaked me out some, but that can't be helped. I haven't noticed any spotting this afternoon... but the day's still young.

Yesterday I stopped wearing pads all day, since I haven't had a lot of spotting for a few days now. I feel like I'm inviting disaster into my life by doing that, like I'm tempting the universe.

I'm still charting on my Fertility Friend chart, because I still expect this pregnancy to end any minute now. I charted through the miscarriages of my last three, just for a record of my meds and to keep track of the spotting/bleeding for all of them. So it's good for me to keep track of that this time too, but I feel like maybe I'm being a little OCD about it now. I don't care, I'm going to keep putting the data in for now.

I'm really weird, I know.

I think my progesterone supplements have finally gotten my levels up a little in my entire body, because I've started passing out during the day. Which totally screwed up my sleep pattern, and I do not like waking up at 5am. But by about 4pm, and then again at 7pm, I just can not keep my eyes open. But, I'm taking it as a good sign. I think.

I almost feel like I'm pregnant.

Almost.

Let's see if I can make it through the weekend.