So the line got darker last night, despite the fact that the bleeding picked up quite a bit.
Okay, first of all... let me say how glad I am that I'm so stubborn and demanding.
I called and demanded to have my progesterone ran with my HCG and TSH.
My progesterone came back at a measly 6.6... which is terrible. It should be at least 15. So my doctor FINALLY consented to letting me up my progesterone supplements. I'm now supposed to take 3 a day, instead of 1 a day. However, I wonder if it's too late for that?
My HCG came back at 72 for 13dpo. My last miscarriage it was only 30 at 13dpo. So I suppose that means it's off to a better start, at least in one way. My second pregnancy my HCG was 37 at 12dpo. So it's right up there with that one. So 72 seems like a pretty good number.
TSH probably won't be back until Sunday or Monday. I go back Sunday morning for a repeat lab draw.
In the meantime, I'm supposed to start Lovenox. I asked them to just order a weeks worth for now, because: it's ridiculously expensive, my insurance doesn't cover it, and I don't have faith in my body making it very far into a pregnancy. My track record for furthest I've ever made it in a pregnancy before things went wrong... almost 6 weeks. I didn't miscarry that one until 8 weeks, but it stopped growing at 6 weeks. So, we'll try for a week first and see how that goes.
I'm still bleeding quite a bit, and I've been cramping some. I'm staying realistic about this. Would it be amazing if things got under control and this worked? Of course! I would be so happy, I would be dancing (but only in my heart, because I'm trying to stay resting so I don't make things worse by moving around too much)... But after everything I've been through, I have no faith in things working. I also can't remain calm about things, or divert my mind. I've been through a lot, I'm SCARED. I don't want to go from 3 miscarriages to 4! I don't want to lose another one. I don't want to go through this again! Not only that, but this brings back a lot of pain and memories from the other pregnancies. I can't turn my brain off, nor can I shutter my heart. So I'm dealing, but I'm also crying and scared as hell. I'm trying not to think about it, but that's an impossible task.
One day at a time.