Uggghhh-

I've almost watched an entire 170 episode series of anime this week.

My couch is boring.

Cats make nice heating pads.

My house is steadily getting filthier due to male pattern blindness*.

I think I've eaten more take out this week than I should... my husband apparently can't cook... hmmmm.

This happens every time I'm on bed ridden... seriously though, he takes great care of me. He's amazing like that.

There hasn't been any major bleeding for a couple days. I'm still spotting 24/7 though, and cramping quite a bit in the evening. But the cramps haven't been as bad as the other night, so that's an improvement. They're definitely much worse if I overdo it a little bit. I still spot red/pink in the evenings, but it's not like the excessive bleeding I was having.

I called my clinic and argued with the nurse about how I didn't think my progesterone was high enough, even with 3 suppositories. I lost the fight, and hung up in tears. My RE claims it's a really high dose and should be fine... but c'mon. I'm taking 200mg 3x a day, and my progesterone on it's own was ONLY 6.6. So.,.. I decided to self medicate today and upped my dose to 4 pills a day. I know, I know... I'm a horrible patient. But you know what? They don't want to retest my numbers, and they keep claiming it should be high enough... apparently they're psychic! I have tried explaining many times that while I understand that this is likely another miscarriage, I still want to give it every possible chance I can. They think we already are... I'm just not convinced on the progesterone though. Is there really that much harm in taking a little tiny bit more? Or you know... retesting my damn numbers?

I really don't see this ending well, but like I said... I'm giving it every available opportunity. I am not going to have any regrets. Although, this experience has made it quite clear to me that my body just doesn't want to be pregnant. I don't think there was anything wrong with that embry0, 72 was a great number for 13dpo. My progesterone shouldn't have dropped that much at that point if the embryo was doing well, which I believe it was. So this has me wondering, and mulling things over.

I don't have a repeat HCG draw until Friday. Why Friday instead of Thursday (which would be 2 days since the last one)... I really don't know. I was going to ask about it, but after my argument with the nurse and me crying... I didn't feel like calling them again. I already got all hysterical on them once... one more day isn't a huge deal I guess.

My Lovenox injections suck. The medicine doesn't burn that much (Bravelle was WAY worse) but I think the needle sucks. It seems duller than my FSH subcutaneous injections, like it doesn't want to piece my skin. And maybe the needle is bigger, because it hurts more going in and out. After my first injection left a HUGE bruise I started icing it up after injecting and it seems to have helped stave off the bruising. Which is good, because the bruise hurt big time, I really don't want a bunch of those.

So I am on... a prenatal, 2000mg Metformin, 81mg Aspirin, 2000iu Vit D, 800mcg Folic Acid, .50mg Synthroid, 40mg Lovenox, 800mg Progesterone

And I put myself on bed rest.

So, if nothing else I'm at least going to have peace of mind because I'm literally doing everything I can. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work... I can accept that. However, as long as my Nombie is still fighting, so will I.



*I believe Kristin coined Male Pattern Blindness, but it totally applies ;)