Okay then-

So there were a lot of follicles. The doctor asked my age as he was looking at them, I think he was trying to access the risk of multiples based on it. Ha, as if you can base anything on my age. I told him as much. He wasn't my regular doctor, obviously.

So, the biggest one was a 20. There was a also a 17, some 16s, and some he said were almost mature (and therefore might still mature before ovulation). Umm, yeah. I don't remember the exact number. There were a lot, but they let me go ahead given my history. Maybe they shouldn't have done that, but I'm comfortable with the risks knowing my own history. He made sure I was aware of the risk of multiples though.

I am a bit pissed about my clinic. The nurse the other day told me that they wouldn't change how my billing was coded. But they did, and now I have to pay full price for things. No insurance coverage. Well, it was good while it lasted. And my clinic is still cheaper than my old one. Regardless, this is our last cycle anyway no matter the outcome. So I'm not going to stress it.

So IUI tomorrow morning, and then we begin the two week wait.

I'm not hopeful, but I really wish that this would work. It would be a godsend. This month is 4 years since we started trying, it's our last cycle trying (if not forever, at least for a long time), I'd be due Christmas Eve (yeah, I know, I can't help it, I always know the possible EDDs. I'm a masochist.) and it would just be awesome because I don't know what we're going to do next. And I'm just so tired of fighting infertility, I'm tired of fighting to become a parent. Since it would be too good to be true, it probably won't happen... so I won't bother hoping. But I can't stop myself from wishing.