Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Well, that was fun-

So as I was getting ready to go to work a little bit ago, I got a nasty surprise... I started spotting... at 10dpo.

I have a strong feeling that I'm going to be spending the weekend sipping on strawberry daiquris, playing a brand new video game, and crying my eyes out.

I know, it's early. It could be implantation bleeding, I'm not saying it isn't. But I've been TTC for 4 years, I've been pregnant 3 times... in my experience spotting this early has never, ever, ended well. My first cycles of injects I started spotting 8 days past my trigger, and got a full blown bleed the next day. The last time I spotted on 10dpo, I had miscarriage number 3 (failure to implant). I spotted from 10dpo until I stopped my progesterone supplements. I've been here before. I'm not optimistic. It's an awful lot of spotting to be implantation bleeding anyway.

So while I had planned to test on Friday (13dpo) I'm going to test tomorrow instead, just to see. Then I'll retest on Friday too... and then we'll close this chapter of our lives for a long time.

I'll still post here, even if when this cycle fails. But I'll probably focus more on dealing with infertility, my losses, and what life is like without treatments. I may still try off and on, but trying naturally for me is a complete joke since I don't ovulate. But you never know, if I take BCPs here and there, and keep taking my Metformin, maybe some miracle will happen and my ovaries will work. Hey, anything is possible... well, almost anything.

I'll also keep updating about my fitness journey... my motto: If I can't have a baby this Holiday season, then I'm at least going to look good and be healthy.

We'll be saving money too while we decide what we're doing, and we're still considering our options. I just feel so defeated. I'm bracing myself for bad news. I'll update after I test.


Kristin said...

Oh honey, I'm sorry you're feeling so defeated already. {{{Hugs}}}

Celia said...

I am thinking of you.

MK said...

I'm sorry. :( Yesterday I got the crushing blow of a BFN. I'm so sick of this I could scream and cry for a week.
I swear it will never end.

Christina said...

I hope for you it's just IB, but at this point in the game, we all know the disappointment of over-inflating hope. I'll be thinking of you and wishing you peace in whatever the outcome.