I woke up this morning to bright red blood.
I'm starting to wonder if a biological child is in the books for me, or not. Maybe I should just start looking into adoption. Or see if my friend is still up to be a surrogate.
I just don't know what to do with myself right now. I don't know what to feel. What to do. I am all sorts of sad, angry, depressed, despairing, but I also feel so apathetic. Why is this happening again?
I might go to the ER, but given my last traumatic experience with them, I don't want to. However, the cramps will be getting pretty bad soon I think. I may need pain medication... and they probably won't give me any though.
Plus, I want an u/s. I just want to see my baby, I never got to see either of them before. Not Sebastian, and not this one. I just want to see my baby.
I don't know what to do. I am at a loss.