Saturday, June 11, 2011

Swamp Castle-

Sometimes, when I think about my pregnancies, my mind links to the first part of this clip:

Watching the movie, you feel like laughing at the absurdity of why they'd keep trying to build the castle in the swamp. It's so absolutely ridiculous, and you can't understand why they'd bother trying again and again

Sometimes I feel like that swamp.

It took so much effort to create those pregnancies, so much time and money, and we kept losing them. One after the other: we lost the first one, then we lost the second one, then the third one.

We have yet to see if the fourth one is going to stay.

We should be 12 weeks today, if Nombie is still with us. I am really anxious for Wednesday, I hope so badly that I see a strong heart beat and lots of movement. That Nombie is still thriving. That this one doesn't end in disaster again.


Anonymous said...

That was a fun clip. I get the feeling of futility, but I see a big difference between building the castle in the swamp and creating pregnancies. They are trying to do the same thing again and again in the same place, a swamp, that has proven to be a bad place to build. Each time you have a pregnancy it is with totally different raw materials and the circumstances are different.

A better analogy might be that you are building a castle somewhere but the land/location is up to chance. Each time you try there is a chance that the land is swamp, or maybe sand, or maybe even solid earth. Either way it makes total sense to keep trying as there is some good land there waiting for a castle!

I am hoping along with you that Nombie is growing even stronger every day!

AnotherDreamer said...

Have to disagree, at least for my particular circumstance.

The way I see it, the swamp is my body, and my uterus. My body keeps trying to kill the baby, my body has killed before- it's a hostile environment. Just like the swamp. While the building blocks of the castle are different (or rather the genetic makeup of the embryos) the environment that we are trying to build upon has always been exactly the same. Only this time we're trying to modify the hostile environment with more medications than ever before, trying to turn the swamp into something more suitable. Which hasn't been working the best, given all crap that's happened this pregnancy- all of which happened because my body messed up yet again.

Joey said...

I know that feeling of helplessness. Hubby and I just finished our 1st round of IVF with a BFN.

Hang in there. You've had good signs up to this point. Prayers, good thoughts, and fingers crossed for YOU and NOMBIE both.


Kristin said...

I truly love Monty Python and I will never look at that clip in quite the same way again.

I have a lot of people praying for you and Nombie. {{{Hugs}}}

Anonymous said...

Oh honey! I can only imagine how tense you are through this. Crossing my fingers for you! Hoping that in 6 months you'll be posting this scene instead:

Anonymous said...

I am sorry for misunderstanding. I am sending my positive thoughts your way that things continue to progress ok given all you are going through. {Hugs}