I feel like screaming at some people...
Screaming to remind them that this is our fourth pregnancy, not our first.
SIL1, the young one who had her first baby last year, with a perfectly routine uncomplicated pregnancy and birth, is trying to give me advice. As if I don't already know some things, you know, having been pregnant three times before and having tried for four years. Yeah, you do tend to pick up on some things, and have plenty of time to make decisions about them. Not to mention, I'm under the care of a recurrent loss specialist. I don't really need advice about what tests to do or not do, thanks. Also, if I was going to ask anyone for advice, it would be my own sister... who has been pregnant three times, resulting in a stillbirth, and two live births, who also has a clotting disorder, was on Heparin for her last two pregnancies, and also happens to be a nurse. Yeah, who would you turn to for pregnancy advice if you were in my shoes?
My husband told his dad and step-mom about the pregnancy, and everything that's going on with it. They don't seem to think it's very serious. Although my husband kept stressing that this was a "potential" grandchild, since we don't know if it'll survive, they still weren't quite grasping it. Step-mom even dared to say that she hoped it was a girl because she was sick of having grandsons... my husband replied with, "I hope it's a baby." Who fucking cares if it's a boy or girl?! As far as I'm concerned, it'll be a miracle if this thing comes out alive! Talk about seriously not grasping the situation! They both know that we had three miscarriages before this pregnancy, but they're completely oblivious. Must be nice to be so utterly ignorant, huh?
If this baby does stay with us, I'm tempted to find out the gender and just not tell anyone. Screw them.
It isn't just that, but lots of little things here and there that remind me how easy it seems to be for everyone out there to forget that this is our fourth pregnancy. That we lost three before this. That we've been struggling for four years. That we aren't ignorant. And that nothing is certain.
If we stay pregnant, I'm going to keep reminding them. Because, you know what, so sorry, too bad, maybe they can forget the lives we lost but I can't. This is not our first pregnancy, and we aren't going to pretend that it is like they are. They'll probably think I'm being crass, or rude, but if they keep choosing not to listen to what we're saying, well they're just asking for it anyway.
Yeah, I'm a little bitchy right now, sorry. My husband just got the "sick of grandsons" comment today. I don't really like my step-MIL (honestly, only FIL seems to like her), but that comment was just too far. I expected it, because she fed the same line to SIL1 last year (and much to their dismay, SIL1 had a boy... boo-fucking-hoo). But given our situation, you'd think she would have the tact to shut her trap. But, no, she apparently lacks that ability.
Okay, okay... vent over.
But seriously, ignorance must really be bliss.