Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Waiting-

I guess we wait now. I got the beta done, after much debate and dread. Hopefully the results will be in tomorrow and I can get a repeat on Friday. Maybe, depending on how things look, and how I feel. I really don't care about betas anymore, they are teasing wicked lying bitches. I know they can reassure and are good for confirmation about what is going on... but I don't like them anymore. Last pregnancy I had perfect doubling betas, they tripled at times, things looked lovely. And we know how that ended.

No, I don't have faith in betas anymore.

Spotting has definitely lessened now- and it's 14 days past the trigger, or 13dpo. I got my visit from mother nature at this point last injectable cycle. My pregnancy tests are still positive... I don't think it would still be the trigger at this point. I'm still taking my progesterone supplements in case I am pregnant.

But, I'm still not 100% that I am actually am pregnant.
I think I may be pregnant though, but I refuse to say that I am for sure.
And if I am, I still have my doubts about viability.


For those of you who are curious, here are my tests...

Photobucket


I will update again tomorrow when I have the results.
I kinda feel like I'm stuck on a really bad soap opera right now.

14 comments:

Kristin said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying a prayer for you.

'Murgdan' said...

Hoping for good things...and wishing I could press a fast forward button for you right now. Hang in there.

shannon said...

Those are getting darker. Your beta will be interesting. I pray if this a preg that it is viable and you finally get your long awaited baby.

MK said...

I understand being so cautious but I, however, am very excited for you! I'm crossing my fingers like crazy for this to work out. You must update your blog ASAP when you get your beta numbers!

birdsandsquirrels said...

Those lines are definitely getting darker! That is not the trigger - you are pregnant. I completely understand not trusting tests and betas after what you went through last time, and I know you have to protect your heart.

I'm sitting here, waiting with you, hoping for reassuring news today and Friday, and ultimately the next 36 weeks.

Bluebird said...

I have been on pins and needles (for your sake!) waiting for your update. I can only imagine your distrust, your lack of faith. . . you certainly have reason to feel this way, and I'm so sorry for that. But it does sound like, for now, you're pregnant :) And I am cautiously optimistic for you. ((Hugs)) sweet girl. Be gentle on yourself today.

Jessi Wallace said...

I have been checking your blog like a mad woman. I am so rooting for you!!!! Tests look beautiful--13dpo is definitely looking darker from 10, so that is good. They are gradually darker. I hope your betas are good and don't throw you for a loop. I'm going to be praying for you... hard... because you deserve this more than most people I know in real life (haha). I hope this is finally it and that your body says, "You know what, I'll behave this time." ;)

Penny said...

Wow, awesome! I know you're feeling cautious or dreadful, and I totally understand that. Still, as your sideline cheerleader I have to jump up and down a bit at your positive pregnancy tests and cessation of spotting. I'll hold my breath for you that this one is a go for good.

Celia said...

Oh babydoll, I am thinking of you.

elephantscanremember said...

Those lines are so much darker than anything I got. I think you are pregnant. (Hugs) I hope everything goes well and I wish you a very uneventful 9 month pregnancy. ;)

Jo said...

Umm... Them there are positive test and NOT triggers..
: )

A baby for Al? said...

Looks to me like you're preggers and getting more preggers as the days pass. I hope this is it for you! good luck on the beta, can't wait to hear the news.

Michelle said...

I am keeping everything crossed for you. I am hoping for good news!

MrsSpock said...

It looks like that line is getting darker, though I'm sure I would be doubting myself after miscarriages as well. Hope that beta is decent!