Monday, November 9, 2009


I've started several blog posts this week, and saved them with the intent to publish- but never saw them through. I'm just a bit distracted I guess, perhaps intentionally so.

It probably helps that I haven't, and as a matter of fact still do not, feel well. The HCG trigger shot was kicking my ass with heartburn, then (what I believe was) ovulation felt like my ovaries had just went ahead and exploded in my abdominal cavity- leaving lots of fluid and shrapnel behind. My lower abdomen feels like it's been beaten, like it is bruised and trying like hell to mend. It was awful Thursday night and all of Friday, but it got better over the weekend. It's still sore though, and now only my ovary area hurts. I suppose I should be thankful for that. They do still hurt, still feel enlarged and uncomfortable- but I'll take it.

I've been trying to ignore my wait here. I am not the most optimistic, as I've said a hundred times, but I am anxious to know one way or another. I plan on testing on Monday the 16th- I should be 11 days past ovulation (dpo) by then. I got my positive tests at 11dpo with both of my last pregnancies, so we'll see. I know it's still early, but if it's negative I will be all the more prepared for it by the early testing- rather than waiting for my confirmation. But that's just me, we all have our preferences. I bought three dollar store tests, and don't plan on buying any more. I'm not even testing the trigger out this time, I am assuming it will be out by 8 or 9 days like before.

My in-laws normally have Thanksgiving at one of the parent's houses, since they're divorced. They threw us a curve ball this year though, and my sister-in-law is having it at her new house, with her family and her husband's family in attendance. Hmm, we've never had it at our house. Wonder why. Because we didn't suggest it? Because we were vegetarians? Because we have no kids? Because no one really likes us?

I'm probably just being bitchy, but we've been married three years- and they're newly weds. We've had our house for three years, the house my husband and his siblings grew up in, by the way- and no one even visits us here, don't call, don't say much to us when they do see us.

We weren't planning on going anyway, but they didn't know that. We found out they switched who was hosting it, because his sister called and asked what she could make for us to eat- yeah, we've been eating fish and turkey for awhile now, but no one knows this because they don't talk to us, so she thinks we're still strict vegetarians. Whatever.

She'll probably announce she's pregnant or something. I did the math... they're newly weds, he has a seven year old from a previous relationship and she has none yet, they just bought a house, they're having the get together at their house with all their family... seems logical to me, but it could be my infertile mind seeing things that aren't there.

But, I am an angry infertile bitch who hates kids- right?

On that note, I'm still having issues with my stupid friend. I told her we needed to just sit down in person and talk about our issues, (because I wasn't going to type it all out and have a drag out fight with messages, even though she was all for it, as she was sending me angry assualting texts and messages online... umm, grow up)... but then I had my IUI and blew her off, because my ovaries were exploding and I didn't want to deal with her drama. And I mean it is ridiculous. She is being absolutely ridiculous- I've known her for over 17 years now, but I can't take much more of this crap.

Re-reading this... yup, I am extremely bitchy. I apologize for the excessive whiny-ness and use of swear words; I do try to tone it down usually. But, I'm just in one of those moods right now.

I had to take my cat with FIV to the vet. FIV is an immuno disease, like HIV in humans, so he can't fight off the simplest things. Well, he had the sniffles, which turned into the eyes/nose/mouth leakage crap... so he got shot up with high dose antibiotics, I have vitamins to give him, eye antibiotic, and ear drops (because to top it off he has ear mites again) Poor baby, he hates me when I come up to give him meds. But then he's all in my face trying to curl into my arms when we go to sleep... such a dork. Hopefully being aggressive with his treatment, he will get better.

Unfortunately, eventually illnesses and the disease itself taking a turn for the worse can be fatal for FIV cats. Lets hope that day is not today- I am optimistic that he will be on the mend, and have a long full life ahead of him. Until then though, he'll have to bear with me as I give him all those unpleasant medications. Poor boy.


MrsSpock said...

Stimmed cycles always made my entire abdomen feel like I'd been shot and stabbed.

I totally smell a pregnancy announcement coming from your SIL- but maybe I'm just a crazy bitch too :)

iamstacey said...

This is your place to be bitchy if ya wanna, so bitch away, sister! :) I hope the holidays go off great for ya'll.

Keepin' my fingers crossed for your IUI!

Michelle said...

I am hoping and praying that this is your cycle. I know it is hard to be positive.

sorry about your friend. That is horrible that she is sending you angry facebook messages and texts. That is not a place to have an argument. Very high school!

Poor kitty. I hope he feels better soon!

Kristin said...

Bitchiness, whiny-ness, and the use of swear words is all approved by management...LOL. {{{Hugs}}}

BTW, I wouldn't be surprised if your SIL is making an announcement either.

MK said...

I can't believe how much I hate pregnancy announcements these days. And even from people I don't know! (that includes your SIL)

I really feel the bitterness in your post today because I'm feeling it too. I'm incredibly irate over the whole infertility thing.

However, I'm hoping SO HARD for you this cycle!

WiseGuy said...

I am so sorry that your family is acting up like that...but I feel that it can't be a today thing, this strained nature must have been persisting for a while, I guess...

And you do not need the added stress of stupidity, so ask your friend for either a face to face, or a long hike.

Hope your cat is not in much pain.

CeCe said...

Just started following your blog and wanted to wish you the best of luck! Sending positive thoughts to you!!!

p.s. We members of this club have earned the right to be bitchy. :)

Bluebird said...

Aw, honey, I'm so sorry.

Maybe she's just excited and trying to play hostess she's she's all married and "grown up" now? :) My sister's been doing that a lot lately. . . I think it's also an attempt to get their families together so they don't have to split holidays. . .

Or, you might be right, and something's definitely up ;)

Thinking of you, either way.

birdsandsquirrels said...

I'm sorry that you aren't feeling well. The trigger shot and ovary pain sucks, but I hope it's a good sign.
I smell a pregnancy announcement coming from the SIL too. I'm sorry about the friend too. I'm glad you blew her off for the time being. You don't need any extra drama right now.
I hope your kitty is okay! I hope the meds and aggressive treatment make him better. I always feel so bad when I have to give our cats unpleasant meds. I wish they could understand that we are just trying to help them.