Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Here's what I'd really like to say-

Today I thought I'd get some aggression out by writing some things out I haven't yet had the gall to say (and that's probably a good thing)

So here are some of the stupid things that have been said, or asked to us, over the past 31 months of infertility... and what I wish I had said in response to them. Let's start at the beginning and work our way up, shall we?

"Now, you don't know there's something wrong yet."

"Umm, yeah I do. I don't ovulate- which I'm sure to you is a bunch of gibberish, since you had four kids accidentally (with your first at sixteen), but see this 'ovulation' thing is kinda needed if I am going to have a biological child. But thanks for basically telling me I am making shit up- way to support me mom."

"You're lucky you can't get pregnant, you're not really missing out on anything. The stretch marks are awful, vomiting, hemorrhoids..." <- said by an ex-coworker

"Hmm, just because you hated carrying your child and creating life, doesn't mean I would feel the same. But, since you mention it... I am lucky, because I know the true value of life and how precious it is. I feel sorry for you."

"It could have been worse" <- said to me after my first miscarriage "I'm infertile, and I just had a miscarriage after trying for a year- yeah, it could be so much worse. I could be trapped in a room with you and your insensitive comments for the rest of my life."

"You know, there are so many kids out there that need homes."

"Really? Why don't you fertiles adopt them then? I didn't realize it was my job to save the children."

"Well, you want to make sure you get a younger one. You don't want one of those broken ones, you know, that's been sexually abused and stuff."
<- said about adoption by an immediate family member, who was actually molested and raped as a child

"Woah. I didn't realize that kids could be 'broken'. I guess that explains what happened to you"

"My husband's parents couldn't have kids. They adopted him, and then they relaxed and popped out four." <- said by my 'friend'

"Wow, so happy for them- but, umm, remember, I have a medical condition. Do you have ADD? A memory deficit? I have told you this about a hundred times, but you seem to just keep forgetting... maybe you need to relax, then you'll be able to remember better. It is a cure all, right? Will it cure my aunt's cancer too?"

"I kinda wish I was infertile."

"I kinda wish I was an insensitive prick like you. Then I would be able to tell you where to shove it, and how far to ram it up there."

"I told you it would happen!" <- said by my 'friend' when we found out we were pregnant the second time, after trying for two years

"Wow, I didn't know it happened because you said it would. I thought it happened because of all the pills I took, and all the sex I had with my husband."

"You know, there's nothing wrong with adoption" <- said by my my father-in-law to my husband after our second miscarriage

"Really? Did not know that. What the hell was I thinking- why have I been reading books about adoption and researching agencies and policies... the only important thing to know about it, is that there's nothing wrong with it. I must be over thinking this shit! I probably just need to relax."

"Is the reason you don't hang out with me so much because I have my baby? You know, I didn't plan him." <- said by my 'friend', who by the way stopped birth control to get pregnant, so... umm... he was planned

"No, I don't hang out with you because you're an insensitive bitch." That's it for today. I may have more of these post in the future, because it felt really good to get that out! Probably not very good though, since I just unleashed my extreme negativity into the wild... but hey, it had to go somewhere.


Meghan said...

As someone who has released her fair share of negativity out into the world recently, thank you for filling the void. ;-)

I can related to every single comment. Perfect responses.

Sweet Georgia said...

That must have felt very good! Sort of like cleansing the soul. There are a lot of ignorant people out there.

Celia said...

Ugh babydoll. Sometimes people just need punching.

Jessi said...

Oh my gosh, my favorite one my MIL used to always say... "You're too stressed, as soon as you relax, it'll happen." Really? Life was amazing and stress-free when my ovaries decided to declare war on me. It really was, I was so happy and things were great when suddenly it all came to a halt. Relaxing has nothing to do with your ovaries deciding to stop function properly. I'm sorry you're still facing this crap. I wish people would stop being so insensitive...

AMC said...

I LIKE IT! I vote for more! You were on a roll there!

G$ said...

People are so fucking stupid. Seriously, what gives them to right to even comment at all?

Michelle said...

I really wish people would think before they speak. I think all these have been said to me in the last 9 years. UUGH!

Scuba Princess said...

LOVED IT! I can so relate! People are dumb!!!!!

birdsandsquirrels said...

Wow, you have had some incredibly stupid things said to you over the years! I love your responses. You have to get that stuff out, and this is a good, safe place to do it.

Sharpiegirl said...

Ranting is good sometimes....I had a good one yesterday over my Dr's office being insensitive.

Negative Nelly said...

I've been blogstalking ya and I just finally found this??

You should totally do a series on I get them I'll send them to you and you can write my responses k? you might want to check your email everyday though :)