13 days after trigger, 12 days past ovulation, and still a positive test. Highly doubting it's the trigger, but what do I know. I'm not a professional, right? What is it with nurses at infertility clinics? Why can't I ever get a compassionate one? Why do they act like I'm a freaking nut who doesn't know how my body works? Like I'm an idiot or something. Like I haven't been through this before.
She tells me, "It's to early to tell, and it's to early for a beta to be definitive."
Bull shit. My beta at 11dpo was fucking definitive last pregnancy, and the rising time after showed that it was progressing. I don't see how doing a beta, and then a follow-up beta two days later, wouldn't be definitive in this scenerio.
I explained how my body metabolizes the trigger fast, and that I know when I ovulated (the evening of my IUI) But no, it's still too early to know for sure. I should wait till Friday, like I was supposed to. My IUI was on a Thursday, they told me two weeks after that to test. Umm, so Thursday is when they told me to test. So to add on to it, they're trying to make me wait yet another day for everything. Fucking hell.
I guess I was hysterical enough because, after she told me it sounds like the spotting just means my period is coming and the test doesn't mean anything, well then she tells me that if it will make me feel better I can get the beta.
Yeah, if it would make me feel better. She says normally they would have the patients wait, but since it's me we could go ahead. Thanks, that really helps so much.
I asked when she would be calling the order in. She seemed surprised that I wanted it today... umm, why would I be calling if I didn't want it today? She said she would have it called in within the next half hour. Oh, but shit. The lab closes at 4pm, and it was around 3:35pm when I got off the phone... and it's over a 30 minute drive with after school and rush hour traffic (for some reason rush hour starts at 4 on the interstate)... yeah, no way I could make it. And very unlikely the order would have even been in before they closed.
So I guess insensitive nurse gets her way, and I will just wait this out and see what happens.
Spotting continues. Brown. Just like I had in my last pregnancy. Of course, it could be my period on it's way. Whatever. I am so done with this. I should have waited to test, but I'm a fucking moron. Am I pregnant, am I not, do I even fucking care at this point?
Damn. I feel stupid, and gyyped, and there's this crushing weight on my chest because this is it. This was the last real try for a biological child, at least for a very very long time. And I expected failure. I did. But not like this- I expected swift quick failure like last time. Now I have to wait and see how things progress tonight into tomorrow morning, and if mean bitch shows her face or not.