Saturday, August 9, 2008

The waiting game

People trying to have a baby do nothing but wait.

I feel like I am always waiting, people with infertility have it bad. We are more focused on our cycles, we have them pegged down, we analyze, we have pills, blood tests, waiting, waiting, waiting.

I wait to start my provera to medicinally bring on a period because I don't do that on my own.
I wait to start my Clomid, because I can't ovulate on my own.
I wait to see if I respond to the Clomid.
I wait to get blood work to see if I responded.
I don't respond, then I get to wait for the provera to do it's thing so I can start it all over. If I do respond, well, that's fantastic. Then I have to wait to see if I caught the egg. I don't, then I start all over again. I do catch it... I wait around to either miscarry or carry to term. Always on my toes.

Currently I am waiting for ovulation, if it is going to happen.
I'm not optimistic.
Stupid ovaries. Why can't you do what you're told?

I called my doctors office today, I wanted copies of my medical records. I wanted to research what my lab results were from my infertility blood work. The doctor said he's call me if anything was off, and he never called back. So I was to assume that everything came back normal.
I called today and left a message asking them to call me back, and I told them what it was about.
They didn't call me back.

I was thinking yesterday, how can you have normal blood work and be anovulatory?
I just want to see the results to look them up online.
I mean... damn.
Guess I'll call them again on Monday.

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