Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Change of plans!

Again. I know. I seem to do that a lot, don't I? Ugh. This time it's with good reason though.

We already know that we can't do a medicated cycle until October, at the soonest. We were going to try on our own this month, but we decided to skip it altogether. As a matter of fact, I went ahead and started BCPs. There are a lot of reasons for the sudden change of plans, but the biggest factor is that we were presented with an opportunity for an injectable cycle this year when we return. I have a lot more faith in injects, so I'm hoping this works out. In the meantime we're hoping to look into getting some testing done, and see if there's anything else we need to do.

Not to mention I can get things figured out and sorted since there is so much going on this summer anyway. Like my sister's visit, and my friend's wedding, our 10 year anniversary in July (7 years married), and there were so many things I was hoping to do with V. Maybe I'm trying to look at the positives to cope with how things are going, but at this point I'm just happy with whatever works.

Another issue is A's anxiety issues, which have not improved even with medication. Hopefully it's just taking longer to kick in, or he can find another medicine that works better. I'm having trouble coping with it myself. I know he can't help it, and it's hard for him, but it's also hard for me and V too. I just want this to get better, but I know it's not that simple, and that it's going to be an ongoing issue. Anyway, taking a break now may not help things, but it won't hurt. If nothing else, it gives us longer to adjust.

So, that's the plan. If you hear crickets chirping around here, that's why. I'll still post, maybe update a little about V, but there isn't going to be any attempted baby making around here until at least October. Which seems like it's forever away, but really I know it isn't. And we'll be getting in for that consult and everything over the next couple months and trying to get testing, so that will be something to post about, I'm sure.


alphakirby said...

I'm sorry that you guys are having to wait, I really am.

As someone who went through severe anxiety after my son was born, I feel for A. As the spouse of someone having anxiety (after a nasty physical confrontation - to the point where he'd withdrawn from all outside activities), I feel for you. It surely won't be easy getting through it. Medication is great, absolutely. After a few years, I found meditation helped me a whole bunch, but it didn't for my hubby.

The best thing we did for each other was to give the other one the OK to feel what was being felt; not to feel judged or like it was something that could be controlled. You guys have been through so much and stayed strong; ain't no way this is gonna tip your boat!

AnotherDreamer said...

Thanks! And you're right, it won't! We just got to get it figured out and adjust to things. He's coped with my depression all these years, and I know that hasn't been easy for him either. So we learn a new normal for now, and that's alright :)

Celia said...

My husband began having anxiety attacks in the weeks before our first iui. He has had them about three times a year during high stress (for him) times. It is not easy. I feel like he has finally gotten on top of them. he does not like the medication so he does not take it. He has been seeing a therapist for a few months now, and gave up coffee and chocolate. It was maddening for me to see him spiraling into one and not be able to do anything about it. Especially since he would always insist it was a heart attack and I would insist it was anxiety( but I couldn't insist too much because it made him worse ,fun) and then he would go to the ER( I stopped going with him out of aggravation) and then we would get a huge bill after they told him his heart was FINE. then he'dbe anxious about the bill. It was AWESOME. He finally saw a cardiologist ( obviously he took years to get there because he is an ass- I love him but he was totally an assclown about it) he finally went when his therapist told him she could not help him til he eliminated physical problems. ANYHOW GIRL I KNOW.

I am kind of relieved you are waiting a little. It is damn hard to have children right on top of each other. We were delighted but it was also very difficult and I think it would have been better for Peter if he could have had more time being the focus of my sole attention. Even a few months would have made a big difference. A 2 year old and a newborn is rough. I don't have a choice because I am older than dirt but thank god, you are younger and at least have some time to play with.

AnotherDreamer said...

Celia, yes he was doing that too. He would insist that he was dying, start to get MORE panicked, and so off to the ER we'd go. Then an exorbitant amount of money later they'd say there was nothing wrong with him. We went to urgent care last time, but still not cheap. Anyway, then he's panic about the bill. And on we'd go. It creates a cycle.

Right now he's biggest trigger is crowds. Which makes going to the zoo, and other places, with V difficult.

loribeth said...

My dh has had anxiety & depression issues for years, so I can relate... he refuses to try anti-depressants or go for counselling, although he has used ativan before in panic attack situations. At least here in Canada we don't get whacked with a medical bill for an emergency room visit...! Yikes!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry the past two weeks have been such a rollercoaster. Even though I hate waiting, there were times it was just the right move. I'm so excited y'all have the possibility of an injectable cycle! You've known it's what you respond best to. With all you have on the schedule, the summer will fly by!

Rebecca said...

You could post about the weight, and anything that bugs you. I don't always post about IF stuff.

An Aspiring Mom-To-Be said...

Positive thoughts for A. Hoping that the anxiety thing improves. I know that is hard for him (and hard for you too!).