Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Time creeping by-


Here's Nombie from Monday, 9wks2days. Chillin', despite the nasty clot.

I really hope Nombie is still alive.

Why isn't it Tuesday yet?

I finally grew a pair and called to schedule the OB visit... I suppose I can always cancel if the worst happens... or rather, have my husband call and cancel for me. I did not like making that call though.

My PIO injection the other night left a nasty painful lump under my skin. Now it hurts all the time, and laying on that side is out of the question... unless I'm at an odd angle. Awesome.

I miss real food. My husband is "culinarily challenged". I know eating in bed, having meals brought to you, is a bit of a novelty... but it's sorely worn out it's welcome. I miss my own cooking, but I'm not going up and down and up and down the stairs for it. So... I'm dealing. But I swear, all this processed crap is going to be the death of me: it's gross, high in calories, high in sodium, and... just not healthy at all.

I sound whiny. I've practically been on bedrest this entire pregnancy though, some self imposed, some ordered by my doctor, and some recommended by my doctor. That's a really long time to not leave my house, other than to see my doctor.

Don't think I'm ungrateful that I'm still pregnant, because everyday that Nombie is still alive... words can not express how grateful I am. But this is really hard on me, physically and emotionally. Physically I'm cramping rather painfully at times, I keep bleeding off and on, I hurt from my injections (not just when we do them, but all night after too), I hurt from laying in my bed, and my diet has crashed my system. Emotionally, I try to stifle my tears every time I start cramping really bad again, it seems like it's one thing after another this pregnancy, I wonder every day if Nombie is still alive, I live in fear, I wonder how I'll ever find the strength to survive if we lose this one too, I see how our entire lives have been completely altered and yet we don't even know how this is going to end.

I'm so scared for Nombie... and I'm scared for myself. I'm trying to take it one day at a time, but it's hard living your life like that.

9 comments:

Celia said...

Baby, people who think bedrest is easy were never on bedrest. It is grueling and physically and emotionally draining. Tell your husband he HAS to step up in the kitchen because you can't grow a healthy baby without a healthy mommy. He can go mostly healthy and buy Perdue precooked chicken and put it on a salad with cheese. If you have a blender, he can make you smoothies also. They are very simple and healthy. Your husband is a smart guy, tell him to look at Good Eats, that guy is perfect for teaching non-cooks. My husband burned frozen pizza when we met. Now he is a passable and at time very good cook.

Celia said...

Also, the bed rest and progesterone are going to most likely make you constipated. Sooooo, if that becomes a problem, colace is your friend. Yo-Baby yogurts are also a very good snack and nutrient dense without a lot of calories.

Kristin said...

It's damned hard living your life like that. You know I'm here to talk anytime you need to vent. {{{Hugs}}}

Connie's Confessions said...

Have you considered getting a doppler? You can hear your baby's heartbeat starting at 8 weeks. I have Angelsounds and got it off of EBay at a great price. It put my mind at ease during my pregnancy.

St Elsewhere said...

Have been reading your posts, and FB updates and all that. I wish Nombie will continue to do well and thrive, and kick some SCH ass.

If the bedrest delivers a healthy Nombie eventually, I think it is worth it. ALthough I wish that you had 'normal' written on your pregnancy, which it is not.

Take Care. And I hope A- learns some quick tips on making good meals. I know its hard. Its hard for you, and I know it is tough on him too.

Stinky said...

oh I hear you, hon, loud and clear. Bedrest would drive me batshitmental (although laptop would alleviate that somewhat)

Sounds so scary, I completely get it

Celia said...

Also, you can get ground flaxseed and sprinkle it on cereal and in yogurt which is very nutritious and tasty. I'm going to stop flooding you with comments now, I don't want to make you crazy. I just remember bedrest. ugh.

blueeyedtawni said...

hugs bed rest will drive you nuts..
can family do some rotation with food ?
many hugs to you all and nombie

Courtney said...

Praying for peace of mind for you and continued health and resilience for Nombie.