Every time I enter a new week of pregnancy, I say "I should be X weeks today. If it's still alive."
The truth is it still isn't real for me, even after hearing the heartbeat. I mean, I know I'm "pregnant" and I'm taking all these medications and doing all these things to try and ensure I stay that way. But... I don't feel like I'm pregnant. My only symptoms can be attributed to my medications. I don't have morning sickness, or any other typical symptoms. Not that symptoms really mean anything anyway. The only reason we assume I'm still pregnant, is because last Monday the ultrasound said so.
So when people ask if things are going well, I say "Well, as of last Monday it was." Because how could I know? Even if I lost it, I wouldn't miscarry right away so there is no way of knowing that I'm still pregnant. So I don't feel comfortable saying that I am. Because I can't know that. I don't have an ultrasound machine in my home that I can use everyday. As far as I'm concerned, I'm pregnant that day, the morning that the ultrasound goes well. After that, it's anyone's guess.
So, my friends. I should be 8 weeks pregnant today. If it's still alive.
In two days time, we'll see if I really am 8 weeks or not.
Until then... I'm waiting patiently and sincerely hoping that my little Nombie is still with us.