Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hope-

that dangerous, devlish, thought.

Don't let me dare breath it out-loud.
Help me repress it, please.

Things are progressing just as they should be.
I don't have my E2 for you yet, but here's what I have:
A 14 and 16 on Righty & a 12 and 15 on Lefty.

If things continue like this, I will be able to trigger by Friday.
And a possible IUI on Saturday.

I was given the option of a back-to-back IUI, but we pay out of pocket and have no known sperm issues (Not that we bothered testing, but with three ovulations resulting in two pregnancies, and this far into our journey- I'm just not that interested. I know, I know- I should, it's good to know... but I prefer not to.)

So, since I am guessing I respond quickly to the HCG, I opted for the 24hour IUI, rather than the 48 or 36hour. My doctor is okay with this, though she recommends doing two. But, I am still not sure that we will even have one. I can loosely plan on having one, but that doesn't mean we will. Many things can go wrong- follicle insubordination, inability to perform from pressure, the car could break down (I will bum a ride in this scenerio, so it's the least worriesome!)

The bottom line- I don't want to allow myself to get too hopeful. Yes, there are follicles. Yes, I may actually (for reals) ovulate this time. The pieces are falling where they should- but we all know that this could still mean nothing.

So, I'd just rather not be hopeful.
Suppress, suppress, supress...

12 comments:

Guera! said...

Oh dear, hope is a funny thing. It's both an ally and a tormentor. Our lives would be empty without it but it also toys with us, leads us on, teases us, gives us reasons to believe and then dumps us like an ex-boyfriend. I am sending positive energy and thoughts your way. Good luck!

Sweet Georgia said...

Don't worry, I'll be hopeful for you!

Flying Monkeys said...

Gah! It's hard to hide from it, it sneaks in.
FX!

Michelle said...

I will be hopeful for you as well!

Crossing fingers and toes and anything else I can think of!

Jessi Wallace said...

OH OH OH!!!!! I hope 15 & 16 grow well enough for you to have two really good follies for perfect O'ing. I know you don't want to have too much hope yet, but I have hope for you. :) Things are finally starting to look up for you and it makes me so happy! I look forward to your BFP announcement ;)

Kristin said...

I'll be the hopeful cheerleader here Crossing my fingers and saying a prayer for you.

Dora said...

Oh! I'm hoping hard for you. Re the timing for the IUI, from my understanding, washed sperm only live about 6 hours, and the optimal timing for an IUI is 36 hours. And I'm sure you know to "supplement" the IUI at home. Sperm delivered directly from the source will live 48-72 hours. GO SWIMMERS!!

Celia said...

I am very very very quietly whispering YAHOO. Quietly. Like a mouse.

Tara said...

I'm hopeful for you!!!

MK said...

I hate hope! Unless it's nice to me, then I don't mind.
I can't wait to hear your update in two weeks. Things sound so good so far!

luna said...

wishing you all the best with this cycle!

MrsSpock said...

Hmmmm...methinks a certain protocol may be just what your ovaries like...