Fighting and Ignoring

I am ready for my appointment tomorrow. I have all my personal records printed off, articles printed and ready for discussion, forms completed... now all I need is the medical records faxed from one office to the other. I faxed them the release last Monday, but wait, the guy that handles the medical records was on vacation.

Go figure. The message on the medical records extension did not tell me this, I had to call and speak with the receptionist. And no, no one else could possibly fax them. What the hell? He's been on vacation all week, and no one else can do his job? Just messed up, if you ask me.

So, he is supposed to fax them first thing in the morning. If he isn't there for some reason, I am going to have to drive out of my way, and personally force those people to give me my own damn records. I am a little pissed off, can you tell? Why is it so hard to get my own records.

Coincidentally, my mother (whose word can't be trusted completely, because she is legally insane... so I take this at face value) tells me that one of my hundreds of cousins goes to the clinic I am about to go to. He apparently has something male factor amiss with him. It was then that I realized I am now one of those legends among the family, "Oh, you know R-s daughter, S-? She can't have kids. She's had two miscarriages." Just like my one cousin who had three miscarriages, then twins. Legends.

There are hundreds of us, but we become the legends. I am not exaggerating about the hundreds, by the way- my mother was one of 13 children. My father was one of 6. I have over a hundred cousins and second cousins. I don't know more than 20 of them. Most of them are super fertile. Except for us legends. It's not quite the way I thought that I'd earn my name...

I pretty much spent today ignoring the fact that my appointment is tomorrow. I hung out with friends, had a little fun. I was mostly successful too, I might add. We hit the thrift stores, and my friend insisted on buying me a sweet Halloween costume dress. It's gorgeous. She also insisted on buying me speakers I found, because my record player sadly lost it's speakers to a cord fatality a year ago. And now, I sit listening to my old records.

My, how I've missed them. I have this sweet record set of the Col.e Por.ter song book, performed by El.la Fit.zger.ald herself. So beautiful. And then, my Fran.k Si.nat.ra records, oh heaven- I'm in heaven. If you've never heard them on vinyl, you don't know what you're missing. It is so much better than disc; and I know that sounds cliche, but it is the truth.

So, I'll let the distractions continue. Because they are better than the alternative.
More to come tomorrow, when I face reality head-on.