Friday, November 22, 2013


I just realized my ultrasound to check viability is the Monday before Thanksgiving.

We confirmed my third miscarriage the Monday before Thanksgiving in 2009.

Yeah, that's not exactly the most relieving realization.

These next three days need to hurry up, I need to get this over with before I start to lose it. I'm still doing pretty well coping with detachment, because frankly it still doesn't seem real, but I'm starting to get a little panicky now.

Still no spotting or bleeding. Symptoms come and go. Some cramping, and I did overdo it a little yesterday at a holiday Christmas light show, but I made sure to take frequent breaks so that shouldn't have been out of my realm of physical capabilities. I think the OHSS is starting to subside a little because I don't get as excruciating pain when my bladder is full. I'm sick of drinking Gatorade. I'm sure my ovaries are still huge though by the pulling/tugging I get if I'm not careful enough.

I just want to see what's going on. I hate being in the dark like this, waiting to see if things are going to fall apart or come together. This really is the hardest part for me.


Celia said...


Take another.

Sadie said...

'Waiting to see if things are going to fall apart'... I get that. Boy do I.

I'm sorry you're facing a reminder of a very unhappy and scary time, but I'm hoping that this u/s will be the one that helps tip the balance towards a more optimistic outlook.

Thinking of you as Monday approaches and sending so many sticky, healthy babe vibes your way! And I'll say what you've told me for the past few months, and what has really helped: one day at a time. You can do this.