Sunday, May 10, 2009

Progress

First, an update on the lawnmower thief. We discovered today that the jerk emptied the gas can (s)he stole and then (s)he put the empty gas can in our recycling bin on our porch. How considerate.

Kudos are deserved for my mother and uncle. Today they came out and fixed our broken lawnmower. Why we didn't do this in the first place? I don't know. After many hours of tinkering... we have a fixed lawnmower, which is chained and locked to our back porch. And ain't nobody cutting that chain (I hope.)

In your face lawnmower thief!

I've also been mending some things around the house, little repairs here and there. It's easy how the little things pile up, until they seem like big things. Instead of being intimidated by them, I need to just roll up my sleeves and get to it. In my time living in this house I have learned how to change electrical outlets, install new switches and dimmer switches, how to install ceiling fans and light fixtures, and how to patch walls. I am a super machine, I can do it. Ha ha ha. But seriously, I am becoming a regular handy-woman around the house. I am proud of myself. Now if I can just find the motivation to finish up all these odd jobs that have piled up...

In other news... my BBT is messing with me.
I may have Ov'ed, or my temperature could just be messed up from my wonky sleeping pattern the last few days... I don't know. I'm trying not to read too much into it. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

I got one "Happy Mother's Day" today. I didn't even expect to get one. It was, of course, from my sister. She's so sweet. She always knows just the right thing to say.

It's unfortunate that she is the only one who seems to be able to fully empathize in real life, and I think that most of this is because we have both lost babies. Her first pregnancy was her stillborn baby girl. My first and second pregnancies, both miscarriages. She knows just the right things to say to me, and it's unfortunate that I think most of the reason she knows what to say stems from the fact that she has lost too. I would much rather suffer in silence than to have her baby be gone, to have my beautiful niece gone. Yet, I find so much comfort in having someone who actually understands.

But how easily I would go without that comfort if it meant my niece had never died.

Happy Mother's Day to all you babylost mamas out there; to all you mothers to children present, and those that are missing; to all of you who have struggled, and gained, and not lost; to all you who will someday be called mama, because you have loved, and struggled ardently, for a child you haven't even met yet but know you will someday.

2 comments:

jill said...

What a beautiful Mother's Day wish. Happy Mother's Day to you, too.

Bluebird said...

Beautiful post, sweet friend. I was so touched to see that your sister thought of you . . . but then saddened to realize the reason why. I'd love to hear her story sometime, too, if you/she care to share. . . I wonder if this experience has brought you two closer? I worry about my own sister, but hopeful I can take the bullet on this and prevent her from experiencing such pain.

Happy (belated) Mothers' Day to you :)