Well, here we go again. I'm done with my dates with Clo-mood.
I still have my HSG Tuesday, but things are definitely underway.
I feel numb, a little deja vu. I think maybe because I decided I don't want to think about it at all, because I still haven't really mourned my second loss (How many weeks ago was that now? Over seven...)
This cycle seems especially laden with reminders... so I doubt it will work out.
If I do ovulate (never a gaurantee with me, even with Clo-mood) then it would be around the anniversary of my first miscarriage. And if I get pregnant... and if this baby stays with me... I will be due the week of my birthday. Which is when I concieved my last loss, coincidentally.
Of course, if I don't Ov then none of this matters anyway.
I don't mean to be such a pessimist.
I just... two years, only ovulating three times total in those two years, 6 (now 7) rounds of Clo-mood, two conceptions and subsequent miscarriages.... I'm not very optimistic.
On a more positive note though!
Adoption research continues.
I'm excited at the idea, I feel an anticipation I don't feel anymore for trying to concieve naturally. It feels good to have some hope, a little excitement... it's been so long since I've had that.
I have missed that warm anticipatory feeling in my soul.
***By the way, I got Mel's book in the mail yesterday.