Echos-

The room they led me to today is the one they almost always put me in. It's the same room where I first saw V and heard his heartbeat. It's also the room where I had bad news and bad luck taken in turns. It felt weird being back in there.

It felt like I was waiting forever, but I know it was only 10 minutes. I kept fiddling with my phone and wondering over and over what I'm getting myself into. Solitaire really doesn't help with nerves.

I forgot how cold it is in there. I should have went with the sweater this morning.

Dr. M came in wearing a fleece pull over (smart woman) and it was all very quick. She's shorter than Dr. J so I couldn't see the screen from my angle, but I'm told it was all clear.

We discussed some of my insurance issues with progesterone, and my favorite nurse said she'd look into it for me. So hopefully we'll figure something out. I didn't hear back from them today, but maybe tomorrow.

I got my scripts and started them tonight- so 200mg Clomid and 2mg Dexamethasone here we go.

I go back Monday for a CD11 scan. I think it's a little early, but the nurse said they didn't want to wait too long since they could miss triggering. Which makes sense, but I don't know how I feel about it just the same. At least the appointment will be with Dr. M though so I can express any concerns I have and other issues.

It really is weird being back there. A lot has changed in two years. And having a new doctor... it's just different. The protocol is essentially the same, but it's not the same. I think my scans and everything have been adjusted to fit Dr. M's schedule (since she's only there on Mondays) rather than what's best for me. I could be over-thinking it and nitpicking. I feel old. Like I'm an old lady shaking my cane (or in this case a bag of fertility drugs) shouting over how it was back in my day. Two years isn't that long, but a lot can change in two years: employee turnover, medical practices can change, attitudes, billing, coding.

It's a lot to take in.