Friday, January 25, 2013

Answers and planning-

We heard back about a few things.

First of all- no infertility coverage. But no surprise there.

Lovenox... I've been freaking out about this. If it was still a tier 4 we would have to pay $250-375 a month for it, wheras our old policy it was $100-150 a month. In other words, if it was still a tier 4 we would be looking at Heparin or putting off TTC... possibly indefinitely. They told us that it is a level 3 though (thank goodness) so the generic would be $70 a month- if what they've told us is correct. We will need to recheck this, and I want it in writing, but it looks like it will be cheaper under this new policy.

PIO injections however will be going from $10 to $40 for a months worth. Still, it could be worse.

We still have NO idea what our premium is going to be... it's supposed to come out of our next paycheck, and we still don't know how much we're going to be out next month. To me, that's just unprofessional. I'm sorry, but we need a little more advanced warning than mere days to rework our entire budget. The only possible bright side here is that DH had asked for a raise to compensate for the increased premium- and they haven't outright turned it down. So there's still hope that we might be able to get that to offset the costs. I'm not too hopeful, because I know how these people work, but it's something.

Our fertility clinic used to code things so that we could get coverage, like ultrasounds were for PCOS (which let's be honest, isn't an outright lie. Coding is a tricky thing.). They no longer do that, so absolutely everything is coded as infertility. No coverage whatsoever. We paid out of pocket for the blood work recently, and we'll be paying all out of pocket again. This isn't new to us, I had to do this with my first OB and my first RE. Still, it was nice to have a little help while it lasted. I'll always be grateful for that.

So, I need to call next week and figure out how much my TSH draw will be (that's coming up on the 7th) and we'll need to figure out about when to schedule our next consult with our new RE. I'm still hoping we'll get in with Dr. M, but we'll see how that plays out.

As of right now, it looks like we'll still be moving forward. I'm still having issues with my birth control pills and this new brand isn't any better. Part of me wishes I could just stop the damn things now, because this bleeding every other week is getting old. I still have about 1 week left after this pack, and then we have 4 weeks of a brand new pack. These ones don't have a week of inactive pills, it steps the hormones down so there are only two actual inactive pills, and this has me both confused and concerned. I don't know how beneficial these will be for hormone regulation with their wonky hormone ratios.

I just don't know.

I have started to consider things to put in motion when we start TTC. While the odds of us conceiving quickly are pretty low, I don't want to move forward without planning for it. My old RE, Dr. J, seemed to think getting another SCH may very well be inevitable. She said that she hopes that if we do, next time it will be smaller, but I am at pretty high risk for it. Yay me. I won't be able to stay on strict bed rest this time around though (not with V running around), but I can plan for restricted activities and plot ways of making things easier for is. I'm thinking freezer meals, both for the oven and the crockpot. I've never really done much in that way, so if anyone has advice or websites, hit me up in the comment section. I just remember how bad things were last time- as much as I love my husband, that really didn't go so well. While he did try to cook for me using my recipes, it was almost always a disaster. Bless his heart for trying though! We bought way too much fast food last time, and we can neither afford that physically or financially this time.

I've only told my online friends from my support groups, readers of this blog, and my best friend about our plans. My husband's boss might know now though, given his inquiries about insurance issues. Otherwise, I still plan to keep things under wraps this time. Granted we did that last time too- we didn't start talking about it until after the first miscarriage. I really don't want anyone's opinion, or criticisms, or expectations though (they really do think I'm not infertile anymore, like I have a magical combination/cure, which is crazy-pants.) If it works, we'll talk openly about all the planning and everything, but I'd rather not deal with people this time around.

It sounds like I'm not really planning for the more obvious result- not getting pregnant or carrying to term. But honestly, there isn't much to plan for there. I grieve. I learn to cope. I keep trying, whether it's biologically or through adoption. We'll enter the new year with a new resolve, and do what we can. Taking the hits as they come and rolling with the punches.

Part of me feels like this year is a training session, you know? A re-entry into the world I spent immersed in for so long. I've slowly started frequenting the infertility forums. I've looked back in my notes, my blog, remembered where we came from. I've slowly been allowing myself to picture us doing this. I've made baby steps back into the clinic. We've started the process, and we're taking it one day at a time. I guess I don't really expect much from this year, other than a reawakening. I want to enter this slowly, like infertility is an old friend that I've lost contact with. I've never forgotten what we've been through, how cruel she can be, but I've let myself gloss over some aspects. It's those aspects that I think will pack the most punch though.


aryanhwy said...

We do a lot of thick soups in big batches and populate our freezer with them. Two of our favorites are black bean, beer, and beef chili and ham lentil soup. Both are really thick and hearty and work great as meals on their own.

Celia said...

Try taking a week now and living as though you were on modified bedrest. Hopefully you can gate off a safe room with a couch, and then the baby can play while you rest. Good things you can rest and do are bubbles, finger paint( you can do edible with yogurt), supervised balloons, I started Peter with play doh around 18 months, I found that if you are in a really tight bind, Winnie the pooh is a laid back movie, also tub play tires them out and is fun, you can make home made tub paint out of cornstarch and water mixed to a paint with some food dye and a dab of baby shampoo. It does not stain the tub. You might look at a felt board. Peter never was oral, so I let him play with stickers, he would put them on me, him, the wall, the, couch, whatever. He was happy, it was cheap, and after he went to bed I'd throw them out. I find that chili, chicken pot pie, pulled pork, and mini meatloaves all freeze well. A lot of crockpot recipes are very unhealthy. If I have time later I will try and find links for the ones I have used successfully. I know I was so afraid of ending up on bedrest with Peter. The long and exhausting days of being pregnant with an active toddler were very difficult. If you train your son to play by himself now, it will be much easier later. I mean, obviously play with him and read to him blah blah but if he is playing alone encourage it and make it easy for him by keeping toys and books accessible. I keep everything in baskets on the floor.

Rebecca said...

Really hoping that you get better luck sooner this time.

Parenthood for Me said...

It's interesting what you said about people thinking you're cured of infertility. How much easier would it be if we didn't have to worry about the financial aspect of IF? It would ease at least some of the burden. I commend you for not giving up on your dreams and pushing forward- you guys are brave.

An Aspiring Mom-To-Be said...

This all sounds like a good plan. You've definitely thought things though. I'm hoping your husband's job finally gets it together so you aren't in deductable limbo much longer and you can put ALL of the pieces in place.

No advice on pre-cooking for bedrest, although I froze a lot of soups/casseroles/spaghetti sauce/pestos before my son was born.

I think your "one step at a time" concept is a very good one for whatever way this fertility chapter goes for you. Definitely thinking of you as you prepare to start this journey again.

ivy said...

Hi, I came across your blog last month while looking into Clomid and I ended up reading most of your blog! I can't believe what you have been through...
I am so happy that you have a child and want TTC a second time.
The fact that you have been working out and losing a lot of weight has given me the added motivation to get out there, again. Thank you!

Here's a food suggestion:
I like going here for slow cooker recipes... on the left side are table of contents, and always read 'the verdict' at the bottom of her recipes for the family review or afterthoughts. Making large batches of soups to freeze is amazing!

I will keep checking back, wishing you the best.

AnotherDreamer said...

Thanks for all the feedback and ideas everyone!

Celia, ha V is definitely orally fixated at this stage still. Everything goes in the mouth, he licks the cats, he licks the vents, the floor, the chairs, his toys, etc... and he's just gotten very mobile, running/walking and climbing stuff. I think that's my biggest worry- how am I going to contain this kid if I'm on bed rest. Whew. He's pretty good at playing by himself though, so we have that going for us at least!

ivy, welcome to my blog and thank you for your comment :)