A final visit-

Entering the waiting room was weird. You know, it's been nearly 2 years since we had that last IUI. The staff has undergone changes. They had receptionist I don't remember. Nurses who didn't know me by face or name. Our one nurse, Lin, was still there. She chatted and asked about V as she led us back to the consult room. The same room we had our last consult, where we decided to give it all one last go.

A lot has changed in the clinic. But a lot has stayed the same. We waited for Dr. J to come back, and while it felt like a long wait, it probably wasn't nearly as long as I imagined. She looked exactly the same, and we fell into our normal chit chat habits. We covered any changes since last visit and talked over courses of action. I got her to give me her sincere recommendation for one of her colleagues, and why she felt that way. She felt that Dr. M would be the best to handle my situation and complications, to go over everything with me, and talk to me like I need (she knows me so well). We covered all bases, and that was it... good bye.

I didn't cry, we didn't shake hands, it still doesn't feel like she's leaving. I know she is though- by this time next week she'll be gone. We'll be shifted along to the next RE, and business will go on as usual. I can only hope that the next hands that guide us will be as caring and competent.

She ordered some blood work: AMA, Prolactin, testosterone, DHEA-S, and my primary doctor should be faxing them my TSH levels from last month. We discussed her recommendations for trying, and settled on a course of action we felt comfortable with: We'll be trying on our own for a month or two, I'll chart BBT/OPKs and after ovulation start progesterone supplements. If I get a positive pregnancy test, we'll test progesterone levels and start PIO if needed. I'll also immediately begin Lovenox injections. If my TSH is elevated, I'll be starting Synthroid well in advance to get that under control. Otherwise, I'm already on all the medications they'd like for my situation: Prenatal, Vitamin D, extra Folic Acid, low dose aspirin, and Metformin. If that first cycle (or two) off BCP doesn't do it, I wanted to give Clomid another try.

All that's left really, is to meet with my new RE. I guess I'll schedule a consult for February if possible.

I'm already dealing with the financial wrap up. It's been such a lovely year, not having to worry about all that. We paid our co-pay of $50 for the consult, but as I know insurance won't cover it I'm sure at least $150 will be bounced back to us. The blood work will be $226 (insurance doesn't cover infertility, so I called the lab and got an estimate- they have a small discount for self-pay). So roughly $426 racked up already, and we're not even TTC yet.

I know that everyone has to put thought into trying for another baby, that it's not always easy, but I get really envious sometimes. I get envious that they don't have to put so much money into everything. That they don't have to worry about every little thing. When we first started trying, it was easy. We thew out the protection, and that was that! Then nothing happened. And we started adding to what was required of us as the years went on and our medical folder grew. So yes, I plan to be more laid back this time, but I can't be laid back like my sister in laws were. For me, laid back means being able to step back when I need to. Not being as aggressive. It doesn't mean I can just let nature take it's course... because that will not end well. And I hate that.

Anyway, it feels good to have a rough plan, to know what we need to do. I'm still not very optimistic, but we're doing the best that we can.