Sunday, July 15, 2012

Frustrations-

I switched to regular birth control pills after I stopped nursing for a lot of reasons. I mean, with my PCOS I needed something to regulate my hormones and make sure I got a period, otherwise when/if I would was unknown. Remember, I stopped ovulating when I was 21, and never got bleeds without using progesterone or fertility treatments to induce one. Now, maybe things are different since I gave birth, but PCOS doesn't go away. So, I also wanted to make sure I didn't get cysts, which I was prone to. Plus, regulating my hormones so that if we decide to TTC again it will be easier, as well as helping maintain my other PCOS symptoms. So again, birth control pills would help me there.

And finally, I do not want to risk getting pregnant right now. Which is weird after spending so many years struggling to bring home a baby. But see, I don't want the emotional or financial drain that another pregnancy would bring right now. I don't want another miscarriage, I don't want to do daily injections, spend over $100 a month on Lovenox, or god knows how much on monitoring and other medications, not to mention my high risk of developing another SCH... I just can not do that right now. I would love another child, but I don't want to deal with all those risks/complications at this point in my life. I think that if things had been easier, if I hadn't went through all the miscarriages, the months of bed rest, or had all these issues that make my uterus hostile, I might be more open to trying again sooner... but this is my situation. And as much as I want another child, I really just want to enjoy the one I have right now.

So, for the last four months I've been on regular birth control, and I've been getting my bleed earlier than I should. The first three months it was a week early, and it lasted two whole weeks. They told me to give it time for my body to adjust, but I've never had this issue in all my time using the pill.

This month, it was two weeks early... and I am going to scream if it lasts three weeks. I swear to you I will. I'm sick of bleeding. I used to go months without a bleed because of my PCOS, and I went on pills to regulate that... so now this is happening? I am at a loss. I don't want to do anything long lasting because we may consider trying again in the next two years. I'm afraid to try anything else hormonal at the point, and starting to think maybe I should just give my body a bit of a break. Then comes the worry about cysts and everything else if I choose not to use something hormonal. I don't know. I have an appointment with my OB/GYN on the 18th, so I think I'll just talk to her then. But I have to do something else, it's obvious my body isn't "regulating" here.

I feel bad ranting here or to anyone else about this. I know it's irrational, but there it is. I feel like such a phony when I complain about my birth control issues, like a hypocrite. I mean, I spent years complaining about my infertility and now I'm ranting about how my birth control isn't working right? I feel like such a whiner, but I am so fed up with bleeding so much.

8 comments:

Lissie said...

Don't feel bad for complaining. Many of us have PCOS so we understand the frustrations of birth control and how our bodies don't react normally.

Melis.sa said...

oh man, vent away. my body has been f*cked up for years bc of PCOS. One summer when I was 18 I was bleeding for 6 weeks straight! Then they have me pro.gesterone which stopped it for 2 weeks and then it came right back until I went on the pill. Ugh. I hope your OB can offer up another solution.

taradawes said...

ditto what Melis.sa said about venting. PCOS is a serious pain in the butt. Back before I realized I was infertile and was on birth control because I didn't want to "accidentally" get pregnant - (HA!),I discovered I couldn't do the pill it would make me bleed for weeks on end and wouldn't let up the entire time, not sure if that is a PCOS thing or not. Is there anything else they can give you, perhaps a different brand or something would be a little less harsh.

AnotherDreamer said...

Taradawes, I've never had this problem before. Usually BCP works like a charm for me on controlling bleeds and my symptoms. I may try switching brands (again) but I'm at a loss.

Thanks ladies. I am just so frustrated with this situation right now.

St Elsewhere said...

I do not have PCOS, but I totally feel your pain on the bleeding issue.

My post-partum uterus has spiralled into the fascinating world of DUB...I so feel you. I hope your OB can give you a way out.

I am not on BCPs...

Rebecca said...

Yup similar problems when I'm put on BCP too plus the migraines I get really suck.

Celia said...

Getting pregnant when you are barely settled with your baby is NO FREAKING JOKE. My Mom got pregnant with my sister when I was four months old. I am pretty sure in hindsight that it contributed to her drinking problem. We are still trying to decide if we want to try for a third. In the olden days ( pre IF) I thought I wanted three, but that was before I was staring forty in the eye. Not to mention while Jamie has been basically "free"a third would push into mini van territory and our house is only 1200 sq ft. Plus a third c-section at 38 weeks.

Stinky said...

I hear your pain on the bleeding - its a real pain. I don't have PCOS (at least I don't think I do) but bleed from ovulation to af. White undies - nah!
If you're interested in herbs n' stuff, some people do quite well with vitamin B6, or Vitex/chaste tree berry, which is supposed to help your pituitary with regulating the old 'mones. Didn't do much for me (and I don't think this would do much while you're on the pill, but putting it out there in case it is useful)