Sunday I fought all the sadness inside me while I listened to my in-laws harp over pregnant-sister-in-law.
Monday I cried all day over other things- my failure to respond to the medicine, my bad appointment, my lack of options, the knowledge that we are looking at adoption now and we are looking at years and a sum of money that is hard to fathom, for all the children I lost, and all the children I will never have, for the end of an era.
Tuesday, the two year (*sigh*) anniversary of my first miscarriage rolled by- but I had spent all my tears the day before, I had nothing left to give.
Today is a new day.
Today I will polish up my resume, and I will start looking for a better job. I love my current one, but it's minimum wage and part-time. I'll never be able to afford the life I want staying here, as much as I would love to.
Today I will reevaluate our life and start cutting unnecessary spending like a queen.
Today I will take my goal of losing weight more seriously.
Today I will get rid of my last pregnancy book.