My tooth hurts. Like so much, that it hurt going to bed, then I dreamed that my tooth hurt. And when I woke up... you guessed it, the stupid thing still hurt. Looks like I need to go back to the dentist. Ugh.
In other news, I had an appointment today with my OB. I'm 38 weeks + 4 days today... and Nombie seems perfectly content to just chill out in my uterus. There was some small progress: I'm now somewhere between a fingertip and a centimeter dilated, and about 80% effaced. So I guess that's something?
We talked more about the possibility of induction, should I go overdue. My OB was talking about starting induction on January 1st, if I haven't delivered by then. Which would mean I'd have the baby around January 2nd.
I'm not cool with this for several reasons.
For starters, the serious: I DO NOT want to go over 41 weeks! January 2nd would be 41 weeks + 2 days. I know that it's just a couple days past 41 weeks, but I don't even want to go to 41 weeks. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... going overdue SCARES me. My sister lost her baby between 41 weeks and 42 weeks, and I KNOW I'm on blood thinners, while she wasn't... but that does not reassure my fears. It still scares the bejeezus out of me, and I just DO NOT want to worry about that. I just want this baby out alive and well. He's alive today, but there are no guarantees for tomorrows... I just feel like the longer we wait, the more risk for disaster.
Secondly, the frivolous: my insurance deductible starts over on January 1st... (*sigh*) My co-pay is already ridiculously high, but if I have to meet my deducible all over again? It's going to be outrageous. In the grand scheme of things, I could live with that though. I just want a healthy baby... but it would be hard, since we're still trying to recover financially from my bed rest and all these medical expenses (plus, now I'm unemployed so that won't help things). I realize how frivolous this is, and I remind myself of this all the time. So, while this would suck... I know that it would be okay. Money is just money... it'd be hard, but we'd survive.
Lastly, the less serious but possibly somewhat frivolous: My OB keeps scaring me by talking about how Nombie might be a very BIG baby, based on my growth ultrasound at 34wks as well as my fundal height. I know that is not an exact science, but she keeps talking about how he's going to be large, and how he could get stuck, and they need to know he's big in case they try to vacuum assist getting him out, and so on and so on... and I'm like, holy crap, the longer he stays in, the bigger he could get. Which means more risks and such... another reason to be scared about going overdue I guess.
She did mention the possibility of inducing on the 25th, and I'd have him on the 26th; but she's not keen on that idea at all, since I'd only be a couple days overdue. I like that plan much better. She, however, sites that the longer we wait the more chance my body could go on it's own. Also, the longer we wait, the more favorable conditions would be for an induction anyway. I can see her point... but seriously... I just want the baby out, alive and well. I don't care about how he gets here, I just want him to live.
We both hope all this talk is for nothing, and he comes on his own very soon. I feel very discouraged though; I just feel like he's not going to come out in a timely manner. I know that's not logical, but that's what I feel.
So, please send some labor progression vibes my way if you could. I'm going to give my body a pep talk, and then do some deep cleaning around the house... if I find the energy. I'm pretty exhausted lately, so anything more intense than the dishes seems to have taken the back burner on my priority list this week. But I will find the motivation to vacuum, I swear I will...