Friday, December 9, 2011

Another week-

We has our 38 week appointment today. Fundal height was still measuring a few weeks ahead, still not much progress. She did say I was like a finger tip dilated now, but basically no change at all. The internal caused some bleeding and cramping, so that's uncomfortable. Nombie wasn't moving much yesterday or today, so she sent me for a non-stress test. He wasn't moving much, so they startled him awake with a loud buzzer thing, which made him JUMP. After that he moved some more for the test, and then proceeded to get violent hiccups. All checked out okay in the end though, so that was good.

I'm really starting to think this baby is not coming until his EDD or later... I keep telling him he can come a few days early, or you know, a week... but I don't think he's listening. I am just so anxious to get him out here alive and well.

Due to scheduling conflicts I go back on Wednesday, instead of Friday, for my 39 week appointment. Hoping for more progress by then.

I haven't posted about this yet, but I got some bad news the other day. If you remember, my step sister was matched with a birth mother. I was so excited for her. The birth mother was due mid-November, went a bit overdue... well in the end, after delivery, the birth mother decided to parent the child after all. I am just devastated for my step sister. Right around Thanksgiving on top of everything. She has a wonderful attitude about it, but she's still heart broken and my thoughts are with her. I'm letting her decide when/if she can talk to me, because right now she doesn't want to talk about it and I know me being pregnant may be hard for her. But, it's so difficult to see her struggle so much, to get the nursery ready, how excited they were, and now they're back to waiting... I know that there is a baby out there for them, and it's just a matter of time, but I also know that's of little consequence when you're hurting like that. It's just so unfair.

Another friend of mine online lost a child a few months ago. Their daughter was born at 24 weeks, and lived for 3 days. This was their second loss due to preterm labor. They asked people to do a good deed this year in their children's memory, then send them a Christmas card about it, so that on Christmas morning they can open those cards so it will bring them a little joy this holiday. I think it's a wonderful idea, and I can only hope it brings them some comfort.

So many more women I know are struggling with loss anniversaries, another year with empty arms, watching family and friend's lives go on while it feels like theirs is on standstill.

The holidays are hard for so many people, and I know I've had my hardships over the years. I've had 4 winter seasons of sorrow, between infertility and my miscarriages... this season I am so grateful to be where I am. I know that things could still take a turn for the worse, but at this moment things are wonderful. For that, I am thankful. Even so, I don't forget, not for one moment, the struggle that so many are facing this holiday season. My thoughts are with so many, and I can only wish them the strength to get through this. Be kind to yourselves, no matter where you are or what you're going through.


blueeyedtawni said...

lots of hugs !! I gotta say your looking more beautiful with nombie mamma :)

I always got a chuckle out of watching my belly bounce back then with the baby having hiccups LOL
hugs and merry christmas and happy holidays and all.I bet nombie wants to be a christmas baby :D

Rebecca said...

I'm really hoping that your son chooses to vacate the womb alive pretty soon here.

Another one of my pregnant friends is due on Monday and her son is refusing to budge and she too is measuring over. Ugh! Typical of men I tell you.

Celia said...

After I delivered Peter all the LnD and maternity nurses said that boys like to stay in longer.

But it is a good sign that things are moving.

I am so excited for you and dammitall DO NOT GO SO LONG BETWEEN UPDATES OR I WILL WORRY. So there.

kim2649 said...

I've been following your story for a long time, but I don't think I've ever commented. I am so very happy for you and like Celia I worry when you haven't posted for a while. This post was very touching, you have a good heart. I hope baby decides to come early. Kim

Shannon Ivy said...

I'm so excited you made it to 38 weeks! And I've heard some say that towards the end the OB will actually stretch "down there" a little... may be why you are cramping.

I can't imagine being in your step-sisters shoes. My prayers go out to her!

Crystal said...

The only stretching I've ever heard of was when the ob swept the membranes. NOT comfy, but can jump start labor naturally. Worked twice for a friend of mine.

I'm so sorry for your step-sister. I can't imagine what she must be going through.

loribeth said...

I too am so sorry for your stepsister. The holidays can be so tough for people who are hurting for whatever reason(s). I hope that they soon bring you a lot of joy!

Jaci said...

positive thoughts!!!