Friday, October 2, 2009

My body = My enemy

So today is exactly 14 days since my trigger shot.
It also happens to be cycle day one.

Last night, I noticed some spotting... okay, I thought, could be just normal spotting or something. I'd had a negative pregnancy test earlier in the day, so I seriously doubted it was implantation spotting. But, I went ahead and used my progesterone supplement like I was supposed to, and went to bed. And then I woke up to full red.

So, even though I was on progesterone supplements, my body just decided it was going to go ahead and just do whatever the hell it wanted to. It figures.

I gotta wait until I hear back from my doctor, and then go from there. We don't know what we're doing next cycle, if anything. Last time there were huge cysts and I had to take a forced break, I don't know if that will be the case this time or not. And why I didn't respond better to the progesterone... who freaking knows.

Hopefully I will know more by next week. For now, this weekend, I will try to relieve the tension. A Sp.ace G.host Co.ast to C.oast marathon with friends, a couple of drinks (of the alcholic variety, because I haven't had a drink since Christmas) And then I will do my homework studiously, and then... try not to crumble in a heap of tears, not just from the failure but more from how much money I just wasted. Paying out of pocket sucks. Failure sucks. My body sucks.

Cheers.

18 comments:

Sweet Georgia said...

I'm so sorry about hearing that AF showed up despite the progesterone. Hugs.

Kristin said...

Oh hon...I am so sorry.

And, progesterone suppositories won't stop AF. They will only help support a pregnancy.

Kristin said...

BTW, thanks for putting up the Preemie Presents button.

iamstacey said...

I'm so sorry. I just went through this myself. It was a really hard week, and I'm taking a cycle or two off. I don't know why, this one just hit me harder than any BFN's so far. I feel for you. And I'm doing the same thing - enjoying some rum & cokes while takin' in a Pinky & the Brain marathon. :)

Guera! said...

ugh. so sorry.

Michelle said...

ditto! I am sorry hun. ((HUGS))

MK said...

Damn, I'm sorry, AD. :(

Rachel said...

bluh for AF! So, sorry!

Cara said...

I'm raising my glass of Pinot to you and your determination.

xoxo
cara

Cara said...

Read this post next

http://noswimmers.blogspot.com/

They are words you might want to hear today.

Celia said...

Babe, I am so sorry. What a shitty pile of shit.

Flying Monkeys said...

That sucks!
I love SGCTC. We have the BBQ CD and have memorized several of the songs on it...should I admit to that?

Another Dreamer said...

Flying Monkeys, yes you should :) I have that album too, and am proud to say I have all the songs memorized. And have since my junior year of high school ;) LOL

Thanks for all the support everyone, I appreciate it.

'Murgdan' said...

Suck Suck SUCK. I'm so sorry.

The Steadfast Warrior said...

So sorry af showed up! Progesterone never stopped it for me either. I was another whose body didn't deal with it typically. (((HUGS)))

MrsSpock said...

Oh crap. So sorry.

Shelby said...

I'm so sorry. :( I had high hopes for this cycle, too. I know how tiring and disheartening and let's face it, altogether heart crushing it is to be met with failure time and time again. It's especially disheartening when we stop losing any faith in our bodies. It makes the energy for the next attempt that much harder to muster. I really hope you'll be met with your dream next time around. In the mean time, thinking of you!

Bluebird said...

Oh, honey, I'm just so, so sorry. It so sucks to be at odds with our bodies, to not understand why they just can't do what they're designed to do! I'm sorry you're going through this. Many, many ((hugs))