Saturday, March 17, 2012

Struggling with PCOS and weight-

PCOS made my struggle to become a mother an uphill battle. It's made managing my weight hell. I know my lifestyle choices haven't helped that. However, before I got pregnant I had started jogging every other day, watching my calories, I increased my Metformin to 2,000mg a day, and really took charge of my PCOS. I lost 25lbs between January and March last year, and it felt amazing.

So far this year I've managed to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and maintain it. But that's it. Because of breast feeding I haven't been able to restrict my calories for fear of further damaging my already low supply so my weight has stagnated. I believe it's slowly creeped back up a pound or two, but I'm afraid to look at the scale.

Anyone with PCOS can understand what a big deal weight management can be for us. It takes diligent effort for most of us just to maintain our weights, let alone lose weight. Right now, I know there isn't much I can do so I'm just trying to do what I can. I'm trying to get back to jogging, but between pumping, feeding, and entertaining V I really don't have much time or energy. I know I need to, but it's just really complicated right now.

I feel like breast feeding is the biggest complication by far though. Pumping every 3 hours is time consuming, it takes up a half hour of my free time I could use for other things (like cleaning, or cooking, or jogging...), not only that but I have to wait until V is napping or otherwise satisfied so I can pump. Then when I'm done pumping, it's time to feed him or entertain him. Before I know it, it's time to pump again. This cycle repeats from the time we get up at noon, until 1am. I do try to get the housework done in the evenings when A is here, but I really hate to bombard him with the baby every night as soon as he gets home from work. So, on the rare occasions I feel up to jogging I have to time it just right and make sure A is available. It's a lot of work.

I plan to stop breast feeding in a month or two. I gave it my best shot, but ever since the Mastitis/Cellulitus incident my supply has been low. It got increasingly lower for whatever reason (LCs and OB are blaming PCOS), and right now I'm barely making half what he needs. I'm getting to the point where I feel like the negatives of this situation are outweighing any benefits. I'm frustrated. I've done Fenugreek, Goat's Rue, Mother's Love Special Blend, Reglan, power pumping... and I'm still only making about 2oz a pumping session. It really doesn't seem worth it some days. So my old goal was to breast feed until one year, but my new goal is to make it to three months... maybe four. I feel like there are just so many negatives to this situation right now though. I don't have any time, I feel like I'm always chained to the pump, I get frustrated easier because of that, I don't make nearly enough anyway, also it hurts, and I can't do what I need to for my own health. I don't want to quit, but at the same time I am beyond ready to.

Once I stop nursing I'm going to start watching my calories again, in addition to the jogging. So I have a tentative plan in place. So now, I just need to focus on jogging and I need to hold myself accountable. So, here I am starting out:

weight 227lbs

That's my largest side due to my slight humpback (Have I ever told you how much Scoliosis sucks? Because it does.) Hurrumph.

It feels weird that I'm the same weight I was pre-pregnancy, but my body is not the same shape. My clothes all fit different, and I have a pouch on my lower belly. I'm hoping exercise will help me firm that up some... we'll see.

Anyway, so this is me holding myself accountable. I better stick to this.


Lissie said...

Great start! I'll be right there with you in a couple of months. We are just about the same prepregnancy weight (actually mine is technically higher,but I lost so much in the first trimester that I'm going to shoot for the lowest since if I count from my pretransfer weight, I have only gained about 8 pounds).

It really is so hard to find the motivation when it takes so much just to sustain. I think the thing I'm looking forward to the least is going back on Metformin. Man I hate that stuff!

I'm rooting for you! said...

It is so, so hard to lose weight when they're that little. Once I stopped nursing Caroline I went back on the met and that has helped. I started working out when she was 3/4 months old and I did manage to lose a little but looking back I wish I would have just slept. The weight seems to stick on while nursing. Now that Caroline is almost 11 months it has been so much easier to exercise when she naps and lose weight (she's on formula now too)

MrsSpock said...

Pregnancies really changed the shape of my body. I had an overweight but hourglass figure before J, and ended up with an apple shape after him that has never gone away. It took me 2 years to lose 20 lbs after him, and a year to lose 10 lbs after E. I have lost 6 inches off my waist though!

Finding time is my biggest challenge too, because I will not get up at 4am when I have been up with a baby all night.

Chrissie said...

I can hear your internal struggle. I think breast feeding is a great thing to do, but it is also not the end of the world if you have to stop sooner than your had wanted. You have to weigh up the pros and cons and do what's best for all of you. Do you have a jogging stroller? That could be a way to get out and jogging with V. He could nap in the stroller as you run. I know that has been a good solution for some of my mum friends who liked to run before pregnancy. Wishing you luck what ever you decide.

Rebecca said...

PCOS and scoliosis here too. Add to it fibromyalgia and Yes I do understand that its a bitch to lose weight. Man I swear all I have to do is just eat one thing off the balanced diet and pow I gain a pound. Wishing you luck on getting it off. I know it can be done but putting it back on quickly is also a real issue if its not done slowly losing it.

Sara / Aryanhwy said...

My goal was also to breastfeed 9-12 months. I made it two weeks, and another two weeks after that pumping before I just couldn't spend the time spent pumping (time that took me away from my baby!) for the miserable output I was getting. Good for you for having lasted as long as you have in adverse circumstances!

Do you have a jogging stroller? We have one and I love it, though I confess I haven't actually gone out *jogging* in it yet -- babies need to have pretty good head control before you go out running with them, and I've used that as a convenient excuse for just walking with it so far. But the stroller works up through age 6 or so, so even though good jogging strollers are expensive, you can use them a long time.

St Elsewhere said...

Oh I totally understand this weight thing.

Post last pregnancy, maybe it was just the brooding sadness, but not only did I lose my pregnancy weight, I actually went below my pre-pregnancy weight, on my diet, nothing!

However, this time around, even though I have lost 'most' of my pregnancy weight, I am still 2 odd kgs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight...and I hate that droopy tummy that I now have....It is true, clothes do fit a little different.

Hey, in response to what you said on my last post on hand-me-downs, most of the clothes that I have are not gender-specific...I have neutral colours too...and I have never been oops about using blue for dressing Fig.lia, so there you go....the other lady will just get what I have, what gender she delivers is totally her problem...

Mrs Bishop said...

my little guy won't latch so I have to pump every 3 hours too, I completely understand how time consuming and annoying it can be to try to pump all the time. Esp. when you have a baby that doesn't want you to take the time to pump! lol

Marissa K said...

Hey Stephanie, thanks for your comment on my blog. I really appreciate it!
I'm sorry I've been absent from commenting on your blog for so long. I'm a little ashamed to say that when my infertile blog buddies get preggo, it's hard for me to read about it. Which sucks because it's like, why even find infertile friends in the first place?? :)

Anyway, your boy is cuter than cute!!

Cyn said...

Hey! I have been following your blog for a couple years now. I am struggling through infertility as well. My husband and I are trying to save for IVF and we have begun a campaign to try and help us raise the last bit of money. I was wondering if you would mind helping us get the word out. If you could post our link I would be so grateful!