Wednesday, July 13, 2011

16wks4days



Yesterday was our 5 year wedding anniversary, and we planned a jailbreak so I could get out of the house. It was nice! I'll post my reflections on that later.

For now, today's appointment! It went well. The clot appears to be smaller, it was 3x7.54cm at it's biggest and it looked to be 1x1cm today. It is also all down by the cervix now, when it was at it's biggest it was up near the placenta. So definitely a big improvement! We go back in two weeks for another ultrasound.

Nombie looked great, lots of activity. The tech told me that Nombie is about 6 ounces now, fluid is good, cervix is good... so things look good :) She also asked if we were finding out the gender, and if we wanted her to take a peek... now, if your FB friends with me please don't mention this, we decided not to tell our families the gender until Nombie is here due to the very ridiculous gender preference they've displayed (yeah, there was more than just what I've posted. That was just the prize winning statement.)

But, it definitely looks like Nombie is a boy. We didn't really care either way obviously, but it's neat to know. It's still early, yes, but for now... the ultrasound tech, nurses, and my OB were pretty convinced.

Thanks everyone about the belly shots. I still don't see it personally, I always had a "pregnant" belly thanks to PCOS. It's always just accumulated there, and as I said all my clothes still fit just fine. I can definitely tell it's shifted a little, but it's barely noticeable at the same time. I plan on taking photos every two weeks to see if there's a difference, and to document things.

Today, I had to yet again remind my mother that this pregnancy still isn't a done deal. She was already talking about the possibility of a baby shower in October. I feel like it's probably a little early to be talking about that. I know that she just wants to be excited, so does the rest of our family and friends, but it really bothers me when they act so cavalier about things, then in turn tell me or act like I need to start enjoying things and be happy. I AM happy, I AM thankful that I'm still pregnant, but I've also been through a lot. I'm only 16wks, I don't think I need to jump into buying baby stuff so soon to enjoy things, or get giddy and talk about my pregnancy like it's a done deal. I need to do things in my own time. Someday, if things continue in a positive direction, I will feel more comfortable with things, and we'll start preparing a little more... I'm not there yet. The thought of going to the store and buying things still puts me in an absolute panic- I'm just not there yet. My husband isn't there yet.

It seems like everyone is there already, except us.

But you know what, right now, we're perfectly content to look at the ultrasound photos and admire how cute the baby is, remembering how it kicks and jumps on the ultrasound screen, and reflect on how incredible it's been watching it grow from a fetal pole to this. For us, for now, that's enough. We don't need to start planning, we don't need to start buying things, right now we just need to focus on making it through each week.

Everyone handles pregnancy after a loss differently. This is where we are today, and we're fine with that. I just wish that our families understood that.

16 comments:

Celia said...

I panicked the first time we went into BRU. It was very scary and I dragged my feet through the entire registry/shower hazing- I mean process. I am happy to see such great improvement for your little one. BOYS ROCK!

blueeyedtawni said...

it looks like nombie has his fingers up in the air saying yes!!!!!!
:)
love the nombie pics!
grow nombie grow!!!! :)

starfishkittydreams said...

He is so beautiful! I am SO glad the clot is getting smaller and things continue to improve.

I totally get the desire to wait on buying things. Those stores can be so overwhelming. I'd hold off until you feel ready. Nothing bad will happen if you don't have a nursery all set up months in advance.

Stacy said...

Congrats! I have the most wonderful 2 1/2 year old little man : ) Glad the clot is getting smaller.

Melis.sa said...

Happy Anniversary!!
So, SOOOO glad to hear that the clot is smaller and away from the placenta!!

Congratulations!! I'm overjoyed to hear that things are going well!! I pray that the anatomy u/s goes well too!!

Two People in Love said...

What great news! I understand what you mean about pregnant after loss. I am soooo happy for you and your husband!

'Murgdan' said...

Wow. These were just some of the BEST pictures I've seen in a long time, for so many reasons. :-)

Shannon Ivy said...

YAY! Happy Anniversary and I'm so glad you made it to 16 weeks so far! I'll continue to pray that you are blessed with more and more days!

I know my sister-in-law was in the hospital on bed rest from 21 weeks until 28 weeks when she gave birth. The hospital told her that after 24 weeks is when they would have instruments small enough to help a preterm baby, if necessary. That might be a good time for you to start feeling more and more comfortable about the possibility of a successful pregnancy. :)

I wish you all the luck in the world!

Janet's page said...

so glad all is going well! What an AWESOME hand shot!! Boys do rock!

Dora said...

Happy Anniversary! LOVE the pictures! Glad to hear the clot is so much smaller. I know there isn't really anything that will ease your fears, so just hang in there. You should be feeling movement soon, which will be reassuring.

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Yay, Nombie. Take it one day at a time. And there is no need to even have a shower pre-baby! Lots of RPL folks( and Jewish people) don't have one until after. Glad to hear today brought good news!

Rebecca said...

Oh Wow! A good friend of mine is having a male baby right about when you'll be due. She has no complication, no worries and gifts have already been piling in. I wish it could be as easy for you as it is for her but I truly understand how it does suck at times not being able to celebrate the milestones of your pregnancy when you are stuck in bed. Keeping hope that this baby will make to full term, be happy and healthy. Good Luck!

Annie said...

I just found your blog and wanted to tell you, I had a massive SCH with my son who was born healthy and perfect in March. I will honestly tell you that I was terrified until my 26 week ultrasound when it went away. I went on modified bed rest.

My midwife said that these are so very common that ULtrasound techs in CAnada don't even report them anymore or OB and MIdwives don't even tell their patients about it unless there is bleeding or they are huge.

Congrats on you baby and try not to stress about the SCH! There is a SCH support group on Babycenter as well. They are wonderful ladies and the majority of the stories have positive outcomes.

Good luck and congrats again with you little one! Feel free to email me if you want to chat!

Lissie said...

Yay Nombie!!! Keep right on doing it your way. This is not about everyone else. Its your pregnancy and you need to do whats right for you! I hate it when people try to take over. I have family like that (step-mom). Thats why I live in a different state.

Negative Nelly said...

buying baby stuff is weird! But eventually...youre gonna have to admit that nombie is a baby :) Can you feel him?! I'm excited for you enough so you can let your excitement grow k?!

birdsandsquirrels said...

Oh those ultrasound pictures are beautiful! I am so glad that the clot has shrunk! And yay for a boy!