Sunday, July 24, 2011

Cosmic forces and jumbled thoughts-

It's like a law of the universe or something, that when you're broke everything you have must break too. Or when something you get something you really wanted, everything else has to fall apart because no one can have it all.

I'm just feeling overwhelmed. We lost my income from work because of bed rest, have all sorts of medical expenses because of this pregnancy (bills for ER, ultrasounds, medications, etc...), pet emergencies resulting in high veterinary fees, then my car breaks down, laptop cord broke, laptop battery is messed up and will need replaced sometime (I'm waiting for it to die completely to replace it!), then last night my eye glasses broke-broke (insurance doesn't pay for those either, they only cover the eye exam). Normally we'd be prepared for these things, we'd be fine with them, but since we were already having trouble it makes sense that it all has to happen now, all at once... law of the universe.

On top of that, there's just so much family drama... the latest is my little brothers mom planning on moving him from just a few blocks away from us, to two states away from us. In the next few weeks no less. And I just found out a few days ago. I'm beside myself with worry for him, I don't feel like this move is in his best interest at all for a lot of reasons. And I'm very distraught because I don't want to lose him either. If I could get custody of that boy, I would. It's just a bad situation, and there's nothing I can do about it except remind my little brother that I'm here for him- and that I'll always be here for him. It just... sucks. I'm hoping something comes up and she changes her plans, but I also know better than to count on that. Until then, I have my little brother this weekend and we're going to make the best of it since I don't know how much longer he'll be here. I really have no words for how much this is hurting... I just feel crushed.

Sorry to be such a downer... I've just been feeling very overwhelmed lately, so many things happening in such a short period of time. It's hard to cope with it all at once.

It seems like a lot has gone wrong this year. I am thankful for so many things though, the love of my husband, the help from my mother, and Nombie. I go back Wednesday for another ultrasound... I really hope Nombie is still hanging in there. My belly seems a lot more noticeable this week, but it could just be me. I think I felt a jab in there the other night, but it was just once, completely random, and hasn't happened again... so who knows. It definitely didn't feel like anything I've ever experienced before.

Here's some belly shots for you. 16wks vs 18wks:


Lissie said...

Its not just you, I can see the difference too!

So sorry about your brother. I can't imagine. Sending you lots of love and hugs!

Celia said...

I can see it for sure. YAY! Ugh, I remember being on bedrest and getting all the extra bills,and having to buy a hundred dollar bp monitor and all the GD testing supplies, and the high risk dr bills and the hospital bills. AND, since it all happened on NYE, I had to start fresh with my deductible.

We are currently going through an "all our shit must break because now we are on one income " phase as well. Not four hours ago I scraped a big scrape in Mister's brand new car. He was thrilled. And our wii sensor bar broke. And our dishwasher is dying. And I need a new timing belt for my car. Good times.

Kristin said...

You look amazing and I can definitely see the difference. And, you can get glasses for as low as $20 (good glasses too) from We've been using them for 5 years now and they do awesome work. Wish I could solve the other problems but at least I could help with this one.

Truely Blue said...

I haven't caught up with your story yet, but wanted to say hi! Look at that beautiful baby bump!!

I'm sorry about all the bad things that are happening lately... They come in threes and then multiply by threes. I hope things get better soon!!

blueeyedtawni said...

nombie is making some beautiful baby bump pics!:)
hang in there lovely likes to kick us all down more so but you are string and you will make it. many hugs to you !