Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Her three aunts-

Sometimes I worry about the future for my brother's daughter. Infertility and loss run thick in the females around her, and I'm not just talking my history either. My brother is a half brother, he has a different father. He has me, another half sister that we share a mother with (my sister), and another half sister he shares a father with (my "step-sister").

Did I lose you yet?

I know, my family is very complicated. But, to go ahead and complicate it even further for you...

You have me with my recurrent miscarriages, PCOS, infertility, Uterine Septum, and clotting disorder (whew, that's a mouthful isn't it?).

Then you have my step-sister with her PCOS, infertility, and Uterine Septum.

Then you have my sister with her clotting disorder, which is directly related to her stillborn daughter.

A lot of crap for so many aunts to have went through, don't you think?

It just seems like a horrible hand for one family. I know that down the road, when my niece is older, I should talk to her mother about the signs of PCOS so she'll at least be aware of that. That's not in question; the future itself is. I ask myself, will she end up like us? Or will things be easier for her? Sometimes I send a silent little request to the cosmos that this little girl doesn't have to endure the horror her three aunts have. It's just something I wonder about, worry about.

If I had carried my genetic children to term, I'm sure I'd be wondering the same things. Wondering if I doomed them too. But I didn't, so I don't.

This little girl is here, and I do worry about her. I just want her to be happy, to not suffer what all of us have suffered, you know? There's so much time until she's at that point, and she may never even have issues, but there is always that possibility lurking.

It just boggles my mind to think about this incredible bad luck, three aunts with such heart break. What are the odds?


Annabelle said...

Wow!! I actually caught on to all the family because mine is pretty complicated too! I'm so sorry about your infertility issues and that you are concerned for your niece. I hope she doesn't have the same problems either but by the time she is ready there may be so many advances in infertility treatment that it won't be an issue. It's very thoughtful of you to think of her future though, I'm sure she'll appreciate that someday! said...

I worry about that too but for my dd and soon to be second dd. My DH's sisters had few issues conceiving-only one has MTHFR but my daughters will know there's a great chance they have at least one clotting disorder, thyroid issues, and PCOS, not to mention an increased risk of breast cancer because of my mom. I hope your niece doesn't have any issues.

Kristin said...

Hopefully she will avoid the problems. However, if she is fated to travel the the IF highway, at least she will have the love and support of some knowledgeable and supportive women.