Sometimes I worry about the future for my brother's daughter. Infertility and loss run thick in the females around her, and I'm not just talking my history either. My brother is a half brother, he has a different father. He has me, another half sister that we share a mother with (my sister), and another half sister he shares a father with (my "step-sister").
Did I lose you yet?
I know, my family is very complicated. But, to go ahead and complicate it even further for you...
You have me with my recurrent miscarriages, PCOS, infertility, Uterine Septum, and clotting disorder (whew, that's a mouthful isn't it?).
Then you have my step-sister with her PCOS, infertility, and Uterine Septum.
Then you have my sister with her clotting disorder, which is directly related to her stillborn daughter.
A lot of crap for so many aunts to have went through, don't you think?
It just seems like a horrible hand for one family. I know that down the road, when my niece is older, I should talk to her mother about the signs of PCOS so she'll at least be aware of that. That's not in question; the future itself is. I ask myself, will she end up like us? Or will things be easier for her? Sometimes I send a silent little request to the cosmos that this little girl doesn't have to endure the horror her three aunts have. It's just something I wonder about, worry about.
If I had carried my genetic children to term, I'm sure I'd be wondering the same things. Wondering if I doomed them too. But I didn't, so I don't.
This little girl is here, and I do worry about her. I just want her to be happy, to not suffer what all of us have suffered, you know? There's so much time until she's at that point, and she may never even have issues, but there is always that possibility lurking.
It just boggles my mind to think about this incredible bad luck, three aunts with such heart break. What are the odds?