Monday, August 9, 2010

Cycle regret-

Soooo, I'm starting to regret not getting monitoring this cycle. A little bit.

Yeah. Other than those hot flashes, I ain't feeling nothing here. And since I'm not being monitored, I ain't got a clue what's going on. I am cycle day 14, charting away on my thermometer and waiting. If I respond, it should be any day now... because if I'm going to respond to Clomid at all, it's always about 8 days after my last pill... and today is 7 days after.

One moment I'm not stressing it and I don't care, whatever.

Then the next moment I'm like... "What the hell was I thinking? I can't trust my body to do anything, and yet I just put it on autopilot with a jacked up system with hope it'll reach the destination without crashing in a firey blaze of doom!"


Okay, so maybe not quite to that extent. But this is what happens when I take a break. I can't trust my body, even on medication, to do what it should. But I'd still rather have that chance, and wonder if I will respond, then spend all month knowing that nothing is going to happen- because that's what happens on a true break.

No use regretting it now I suppose. If I don't see a temp rise by the end of the week, or next week, I will assume this cycle is a bust and call the doctor. If I didn't even try to respond I may be able to take more medication this month. If nothing else it will realign my cycles so that my mid-cycle falls on a better day of the month... that's something I suppose.
I bought some Pre-seed for this cycle, and rather than order it online (because I didn't want to wait for shipping) I bought it at CVS- because, they carry it now. The girl was so odd at the register- I love making cashiers uncomfortable by buying family planning products, it's just so awesome. Let me tell you. But this girl, just wow. She kept giving us this look, was really short with us, and then she was like "Do you want a bag for this?"

Ummm... seriously? No, that's cool. You can just leave my personal lubricant out of the bag, I want to show it off. Because I want everyone in CVS and the parking lot to see my lubricant and know that it's for "seriously fun baby-making", as advertised. I mean, seriously? She knew what it was because it made her uncomfortable, but she still had to ask. Just. weird.

2 comments: said...

Hoping for the temp rise tomorrow morning!!

I hear you on the unmonitored cycle. I was like maybe I could sleep better knowing that they triggered something rather than hope my body will actually ovulate. gah.

I would have taken my time checking out if the cashier was the uncomfortable. Maybe ask her to break a ten? maybe some change for a dollar? :) But that's how I roll

WindDrop said...

I always feel weird about walking around with and purchasing OPKs and HPT, hell, even tampons. I just want them to shut it, take my money and put it in the bag.
I think it's pretty standard for most places to ask if you want a bag if you don't have a lot of stuff. But really? Too funny.