New cycle started today, right on time. I'll call tomorrow to schedule my baseline and blood work so we can move on. Hopefully I'll be able to get in Monday, after I get off work in the morning.
We are still thinking about adopting an older child in the future- through the state while we save money for private infant adoption, or even if we have a biological child. If we have a biological child, there is a very good chance that they would be the only one we ever have. Honestly, we wanted two to three children in our future. We're not ready to give up that dream. And adopting an older child would fulfill that desire, as well as give a stable loving home to a child who needs it.
I've been reading books about the adoption process and parenting after adoption. The one I'm reading right now is about parenting the adopted older child. I wouldn't say it's been scaring me, but it is a little bit intimidating. Mostly because you never know what kind of obstacles might come up depending on what the child has been through. Each situation is unique and it takes time to figure out how to handle them, make it better, and sometimes there isn't much you can do. The book is quite informative, and is easy enough to read with a lot of interviews with adoptive parents. It's not scaring me off, but making the reality of the situation even more real. I already knew it would be challenging, but this is showing me how it could be in more specifics.
My husband will definitely have to read it if we move forward with this. I may have to pass it to a few family members too, so they can really get it. Most people seem to think it is easy and there won't be immense challenges or struggles- but that's not reality. Raising an adopted child is like raising a biological child in some ways, but totally different in others. There are a lot more issues with identity, dealing with preconceived notions of what adoption is, and with older children there is a past and whole other former life that needs to be integrated and coped with.
Of course I have no experience with this, just what I've been reading. It doesn't seem overwhelming, and it's not scaring me- but it gives me things to think about and is certainly making me more aware than I was a few years ago.