Wednesday, December 3, 2008


My father in law knows about the miscarriage, but he didn't know about the infertility apparently.

We were dropping off the rent money to him, a monthly obligated visit. The topic of the economy was brought up, as he had been recently laid off at the old factory. We agreed that times were tough, saying we had to cut back to save money. He talks about how it's hard to get by, I say that we get by just fine it's just that we have to save money for medical reasons.

He asks why... awkward much? I told him we needed to save for fertility treatments.

"Aw, are you guys trying to make me a grandpa?"
"We've been trying for 2 years." (It will be 2 years in April, but let's not argue semantics right now.)
"Oh. Do you guys have names picked out?"

What the hell? Do we have names picked out? Did he not hear the "infertility treatments" or the "trying two years" part of that conversation? Does he not remember that we had a miscarriage?


Thankfully mother in laws Thanksgiving was uneventful. Awkward, but uneventful. We sat quietly listening to everyone else's conversations, weren't included in many, and then we took an early leave. The only person in my husbands family that is actually friendly with me is his mother, and she's not the best. Since we started dating, up until we had the miscarriage, she would ask me every time "Do you guys have any news for me?" or "Are you pregnant?"

No, but thanks for asking. And after that, she started asking how "things were going" referring to the treatments. She even said she'd be a surrogate for us like those news stories about the lady carrying her grandchildren for her daughter... Uh, no thanks. If I'm going to go through IVF I'd have the embies put in me. My uterus is actually very nice, it's the ovaries that are dumb. I am thankful that she didn't bring any of it up with me at Thanksgiving. No one else in his family knew about the infertility, so I'd like to keep it that way.

And that concludes the first awful holiday season. The next one will be much worse I'm afraid.


Michelle said...

Im sorry. It sounds like your Thanksgiving was much like mine and your in-laws are the same too. Really sorry about that.

janis said...

URGH, what crap! I am so sorry. ((hugs))

Cara said...

So sorry you have do deal with this, continually.

Penny said...

Oh good lord. Your mom's battery of questions reminded me of my mom's battery of questions. Puke.

Sorry your holiday was not so good. I hope the next one surprises you and goes smoother.

Tara said...

I hope the next holiday is better...