I was going to make Lasagna and post pictures of the process... but I never got around to buying the ingredients. Sorry, maybe next time! Instead, I thought I'd share with everyone something I saw at my mother's on Thanksgiving that broke my heart. Cause I like to be the downer...
"Welcome to Grandma's House. Children Spoiled While You Wait."
The names of each living grandchild are on that, they each have a heart of their own.
Something so small, and yet packed with so much. All I could think of was that there were 5 hearts, only 5. There should be 7. There should be 7 hearts, not 5. But, they can't be spoiled, can they. They died.
My sister's daughter, Amariah, was the first grandchild. She was stillborn at 41-42 weeks. My Sebastian was the last grandchild, he was lost at 5 weeks. There is nothing in my mother's home to commemorate Sebastian. My mother used to have Amariah's picture hanging in her home, but I didn't see it out this time. I don't know for sure if it wasn't out, or if I just couldn't see it. Tucked away somewhere, in the dark.
No, our children will never be spoiled. All they are to anyone else is their passing.
17 comments:
Lots of {{{{hugs}}}}
The unmarkedness of a life was one of the toughest things for me to deal with.
I, too, offer a hug.
I don't usually comment on Show and Tells but I just had to let you know I was sending hugs your way.
Sometimes it's the little things that others don't notice that are so hurtful. I'm so sorry.
Sending you lots of hugs!
This is so hard. The worst part is that we see what is missing, the void if you will...but others just can't see it that way.
Many hugs!
I'm glad you didn't get the ingredients for lasagna so you could get that off your chest. Keeping things like that in your brain make them run on replay.
I just want to second Lori's words.
offering a virtual nod. Agreeing with all the others
(((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))
I can't imagine.
I am sending you lots of hugs hun,
It's heartwrenching to not see any footprints of those, whose life and death was so quick. I think my memories only reflect in the welling up of my eyes. I am sure that even if others are not celebrating, you can create a memorial wall or some objects to remember those who were lost.
I read your comment on my blog. And thank you so much for pondering over my dream.
The hare were hunting, what the snake was hunting. Try as hard as I could, I still cannot reflect what it was that the snake was hissing at and attempting to consume, but the hares were also being aggressive. Can you think of some meaning of this?
((hugs))
Yikes. Yes. I imagine this must be a difficult thing to see for your entire family. Hugs, too.
No matter where there are spots that aren't there for those who should be, there will always be a spot in your heart. And maybe it's kind of cheesy, but it is true.
Wishing there were something to say to help fill the void of a space not there.
I agree with Lori - it was all the "nothing" I got left with that sometimes hurt the most.
{{hugs}} and gentle good wishes.
am late for Show and Tell this week!! Ohhh, what a moving post. It is sad, but you know that they live on in your hearts.
I am so sorry. I can only imagine how much that would sting. It seems like the rest of the world just hurtles forward, tossing a band-aid over the pain and behaving as if nothing happened. Even if it is done inadvertently it must sting.
I am so sorry. It always seems like the littlest things that make the biggest impact on me. The strongest reminders that my own lost babies aren't with me.
((((HUGS))))
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