Flip Flop

So... I changed my mind about not doing the Clomid this cycle. I know, I am a flip flopper.

I can't get my HSG done this month because of scheduling conflicts. My RE does HSGs on Tuesdays... he's not in next Tuesday. O....K.... so it was postponed until next cycle. This left me feeling like nothing was getting done this cycle after all... I didn't like feeling that. So I was like... ok, new plan.

A- and I decided that we're going to do the Clomid this month without follicle monitoring. I doubt it will work, so what will it hurt... I say. And if, when, it doesn't work... we can be done with Clomid and start saving for injectables. That's the new plan.

So, I got the news about the HSG, hadn't made decisions about the Clomid yet... hadn't even talked to A- yet... and I go get my bloodwork done for the liver function test and the anaphospholipid test.

I was already in the barren bitch mood... the lady takes me back. She ties the rubber band around my bicep. She asks how I'm doing, while she digs in the drawer for the right needle. I say, "Fine. Besides the band hurting. Those things always hurt." nervous laughter from me. She pauses, and then says something like, "No it doesn't. Those things don't hurt." I retort, "Well it does for me." Now... I know I've been through worse, but that doesn't mean that the band didn't hurt at that moment... damn it. But she, being a smart ass, says, "Do you have any children?" I tense, reply, "No." She gets a self satisfied tone to her voice, and says that having a baby hurts. I look at her and say, "Yeah? Well I've had a miscarriage, and that hurts pretty bad too." Stupid woman. She mumbles, "Yeah, I guess that would too." Stupid woman. I was silent, she was silent, for the remainder of the time. Stupid woman.

And that's my rant for the day.

For those in America... DON'T FORGET TO VOTE! (Preferably for my guy, but... you don't know who that is! So... I'll give you a hint. I am PRO woman's rights. And I'm voting for "that one.")