Tuesday, July 9, 2013

On passing a Decade-

A and I are approaching our triple anniversary on Friday. I can't believe how long it's been. Almost ten years ago I started dating my best friend. Almost nine years ago we got engaged. Almost seven years ago? We got married.

It doesn't seem that long. Not really.

A little over ten years ago now I sat on my back porch, with my best friend, watching the fireworks. Between us was the unspoken question, "Does (s)he feel the same?" Yes- and it could lead to something amazing. No- and it could mean the end of a very close friendship. The fireworks rang out, our neighbors cajoled and lit sparklers, all around us was chaos, while we existed in our own little bubble.

Happily the answer was yes (obviously!) but it took us another week before either of us worked up the courage to ask. Introverts trying to date, funny stuff. I always remember that forth of July though, and mark it as special. We pass it every year as we lead up to our real anniversary, and it still lends sweetness to my memory.

I remember when he asked, I said, "It's about time," and we had a good laugh. We spent an aimless summer together, young and loose on the world for the first time. We had just graduated high school, and in our little bubble, only the other one mattered.

Weeks into our relationship, he said, "I'm going to marry you."
I laughed.

A year later, he proposed.

Two years later, we held the ceremony, and the rest is history.

Our life together hasn't been what we imagined. This isn't what we planned. Things haven't been easy; life changed and the world remained slippery beneath our feet. We loved, we lost, we gained, we learned that sometimes the only option left is to say goodbye- whether it's to former thoughts, desires, or dreams. We've had wonderful things happen, and terrible too. We've weathered youth and naivety, as well as maturation and bitterness.

I can't say that I wouldn't change things, because I would. I wish our children were here, all of them. I wish we had been able to move on with our lives, that a living child wasn't so darn near impossible, that having a second child wasn't so complicated, that everything didn't fall down to what we can do versus what we should. I wish we had fought less, and made love more. That we had learned to handle our arguments better, sooner. There's a lot I would have changed.

What I wouldn't change? How we grew together. How we always worked through our difference. The nights spent laughing, or holding each other as the world fell down. The choice I made over ten years ago, when I knew, even in my youth that this guy... this guy right here? He was the one.

This is our life, a decade in the making. Good and bad. We learned the depth of our adolescent love, and built upon it's foundation an enduring love. One strong enough to stand, even as the world we know crumbles at our feet.

There are plenty of things I'm not content with in life, but in this... my heart has found peace, and I am content. I hope that as the years continue to collect, we will continue to build upon our foundation. We will grow together, rather than apart. I hope that one day we will look back at everything that has passed, and smile at each other, knowing that this, this right here, is enough.

Here's to the rest of our lives.


St Elsewhere said...


Wishing you many many many years of togetherness. You have been through so much and you are together - that's most important!

blueeyedtawni said...

Happy Anniversary!!!!!:)

Anonymous said...

It's so funny how some of this is like I am reading about my own life!! We, too, had a 4th of July relationship and I will never forget our day 11 years ago when we were wondering the same thing about each other. Glenn also told me he'd marry me within a couple months of dating, and I too laughed - HA! Happy Anniversary!!! July is a lovely month. :)

AnotherDreamer said...

Jessi- it is a pretty great month! :) Happy anniversary to you guys too!

Thanks everyone!

Anonymous said...

So sweet, I love it. :)

loribeth said...

Happy anniversary! :)