Appointments and Birthdays

The appointment with my OB went well. It was just a quickie; we had an ultrasound to check for heart beats (apparently they don't use dopplers with multiples) and even though the machine was ancient and couldn't take measurements we did see movement so I assume all is well. I felt some maybe kicks the other day, so that was pretty awesome too. So far things look good, and I'll take it.

Thursday we'll be 17 weeks, and I'll also turn twenty-nine years old. Whew, last leg of the twenties. I honestly don't mind, I'm embracing it. Last year I noticed my first wrinkles- laugh lines. I actually love them, I think they're a sign of a life well lived. Most people kind of joke about aging, my mom and sister never want to own up to their ages, but I never had an issue with it. I've stayed alive this long, it's an honor. My twenties have been filled with a lot of things, mostly painful but also wonderful, and as we near the end of this chapter in my life, I can only hope it closes on a happy note.

We went out and had my birthday dinner after the appointment since we were out that way, and I did a little shopping. We bought some stuff for the babies, and that of course makes me very nervous. I wanted to allow myself to enjoy though, and I know that spacing things out (and hitting sales) will save us some in the long run. I just hope we don't regret it. In the back of my head I still worry, I advise caution, but I'm allowing myself to prepare and move forward too. I'm worried it will backfire, that this will make things harder. It's really a lose-lose scenario, because no matter the outcome I'll still grieve and have regrets. At least this gives me something useful to do, and a moment of happiness.

I tucked all my purchases away just the same, because I can't relax that much. It's progress though. We have have about 7 weeks until viability... one day at a time we're getting there.