Novelty-

Last weekend we went to a birthday party for one of my nieces. While we were there we saw my brother and his family. We went thinking he wouldn't show, because he never does for their birthday parties. We were wrong.

My oldest brother and I have a difficult relationship. There were a lot of things that happened in the past that I'm going to leave there. In the present though, he's said things to me during our struggle with infertility that hurt very badly. After the first miscarriage and our induction to fertility treatments, he told me that he wishes he was infertile. Him and his ex-girlfriend often joked about how we should take their children, then we wouldn't want kids. This was always at family gatherings, Christmas or Thanksgiving... because that's honestly the only time we ever saw them.

So, he came to us as we were leaving and chatted with us. He asked how I was enjoying motherhood, and I said something about how it was wonderful. He proceeded to tell me that the novelty wears off after awhile.

My brother has no clue.

He has two older sisters, one who just adopted, one who suffered a still birth, and then he has me, his little sister... yet he still doesn't grasp that some of us would do anything for our children. He never actually stopped to consider how we might feel. Or maybe he's just projecting his own feelings about his experience, his children were not planned, and came at a bad time in his relationship both times. I know he loves his children, but it makes me wonder if he's harboring some resentment.

See, I don't believe that the novelty of having children ever wears off. I look forward to having another child, god willing, because I would love to do this all over again. I'm excited and planning on things to come, thinking about all the things I want to share with V, places I want to take him, things I want to do with him, experiences I want to share. I didn't go through what I did just because I wanted a baby, I did it because I wanted to be a parent. Yes, I wanted the experience of having a baby, but the things I look forward to the most is experiencing life with him, taking him on trips with us, snuggling while having a movie night, playing board games, camping, building forts, going for bike rides, hiking... getting to know him, and growing with him. To me, this is an amazing time, but there is still so much more to come.

So, no, I don't believe that the novelty is going to wear off. Motherhood isn't perfect, we have our bad days, and it's hard- but I never expected it to be easy. I knew what I was getting into, and I did it anyway, because it's worth it. This is the life I wanted, and I know how close I came to never having it. My son is my dream come true. I know we'll have hardships ahead, that things aren't always going to be so simple, we'll have bad days, and good days... but they'll be our days, and that's all I could ask for.