36 weeks!

I figured I'd share a different angle of belly shot for once. I didn't realize how much it really stuck out there until I took this tonight!

And an explanation for the photo... yeah, I wish someone would tell me how this happens. I sat down to get on my laptop and got lap cats instead. One of the many mysteries of the universe I guess. If they weren't all cute and furry...

We got the holiday decorations up yesterday, and they are lovely! Then today we spent assembling the dresser for the nursery. And then rearranging in there a little, and hanging pictures. Tomorrow we'll start washing the clothes so I can put them away. I'll try to post some more completed photos afterward. But I have to say, it's still a big ole' mess in there. Complete chaos. I'm slowly working at it, but I am starting to think that I won't be getting anywhere anytime soon.

Also, I may be nesting... I can't seem to just chill and relax. I feel like my to-do list keeps growing. We still have so much to do.

I did my first Heparin shot tonight, it wasn't too bad. I think it might bruise though. But the cost was amazing, it was so much cheaper than my Lovenox; it saved us like $100 this month. But it's just for a month... or however long until I have the baby. Which will hopefully be in a little less than a month.

Yikes.

Quick update:

Today's appointment was non-eventful, so I can't complain.

35 weeks and 4 days: My fundal height is still measuring a week or two ahead, baby is still good, he has not dropped or engaged yet, and my cervix is closed up tight. In this past month my weight gain has slowed down dramatically; I didn't gain anything in the last two weeks, and last time I only gained a pound. My blood pressure was a little high, but no protein in my urine so they're not worried about it. I had my group B-strep swab done, and I'll get those results back in a week. I start Heparin on Saturday.

I go back December 2nd for my 37wk appointment.

Tonight is my last day of work. I'm going to miss the shelter, but I am so ready to just stay home and relax. It's going to be so weird to leave my binder behind and say my good byes. I've been there for over 3 years now. Initially I applied for the position because we needed the extra income for fertility treatments, but I did really care about what the shelter did and stood for too. The shift flexibility was a major bonus as well, and I stayed there even after I graduated college. It was just a good fit. But now that I should be having a baby in the next month, it was no longer going to be a good fit for us. It's scary to be unemployed again, but I think it was the right choice.

After I leave there in the morning, I'll be getting a nap... then heading to the in-law's for Thanksgiving. Hopefully we won't stay long, because I am going to need to come back home and sleep. Besides, the tension there always unnerves me.

Friday will be a new day, and I'll be welcoming it with holiday films while we deck our halls and trim our tree. I think that will really bring everything home for me- we're getting so close to our estimated due date. One month from tomorrow. I'm getting so anxious.

Almost 35/35

Tomorrow I'll be 35 weeks pregnant, with 35 more days until our estimated due date. How crazy is that?

We have a lot of stuff still left to do, like the nursery... umm, I think we'll get to it eventually? We plan on buying the crib mattress tomorrow, so we'll at least get the crib together real soon. And the dresser, still need that. Honestly, I think I'm slacking so much because of the lack of furniture. I mean, everything is in there... just not organized or set up. So much chaos. Need places to put things. Ack.

I also have to think about getting a hospital bag together, and the car seat installed/inspected. We're working on the latter. I told my husband I'd like it done by next week, because we just need to get it over with. As for the bag, I know what I want in it... so we just have to scrounge that all together. Not a huge deal.

I had to get a cavity filled yesterday... that was fun. I really don't mind going to the dentist, or getting work done, it's just the finances that kill me. Hopefully one day we'll get dental insurance, but for now we're self pay... and that can get pretty expensive. I was really dragging my feet about it, but that cavity was seriously bothering me. I hope I can get back to eating normal now.

Next week is SUPER busy. I have to switch my phone provider, have a prenatal appointment with an internal exam, working, quitting (yup, finally made the decision to not return), then Thanksgiving (with the in-laws... I'm going to need strength to get through it), switching to Heparin, and putting up holiday decorations! I can't wait for next weekend, things will finally wind down a bit and I can just relax and catch up on sleep.

God, I miss sleep.

My mom is causing all sorts of stress and drama for me: some stemming from my brother and his girlfriend, and some from her compulsive lying. Needless to say I am avoiding her/them like the devil right now. So much drama that it hurts... ugh.

Otherwise, things seem to be going alright here. I am super excited about being 35 weeks tomorrow. Who am I kidding, I get super excited every Saturday when another week begins! So there's always that. Nombie hasn't been moving a lot, but at least I can usually get him dancing when I have candy or orange juice. I think he tried to change positions the other day, I felt his head or butt poking out my side... and I was like, "NOOO, you stay head down!" He moved it shortly after, but I don't know where to. I know they can change positions a lot up until delivery, but once he's in a position he usually stays there for a long time. I worry that he'll flip and stay in an awkward position. Guess we'll see. Really, as long as he's healthy and alive it doesn't matter though- one way or another we'll get him out.

14wks vs 34wks

14 Weeks:

















34 weeks:

Braaiiinnnsssss-

I slept for 2 hours last night. Not for lack of exhaustion and trying, but this insomnia is a PAIN. Even when I take an over the counter sleep aide, I still only sleep 4 hours maximum before I'm back up and unable to sleep again. When I sleep on my own, it's more like 2 hours... if I'm lucky... and I always wake up during my REM sleep stage. Not cool. My OB prescribed me some sleeping pills to take on the weekend to help me get through this lull, because seriously I am not functioning like this. Physically it's just brutal. I'm so tired all the time, and I have plenty of time to rest, but I just can not sleep to save my life. Ugh.

Our 34 week appointment this morning went well. Up until last appointment my fundal height had been measuring spot on for how many weeks I am, then suddenly it's jumped up ahead a few weeks. I was measuring around 36 weeks today I guess. My OB wanted me to get a growth ultrasound and check positioning (since he's favored breech/transverse this whole time). He's head down (hopefully staying there too), has lots of hair, and was practicing breathing (which was neat looking). When she measured his head/abdomen the GA calculator (for average age/size) showed he was measuring around 37-38wks already. She estimated his weight at 6lbs and 4oz, + or - a pound. He has been measuring a little beefy, even on other machines... so I don't know. Either way you look at it though, he is a bit big for only 34wks. My OB said he's around the 85-90th percentile right now. She said that it's nothing to be alarmed about yet, and they don't want to plan on inducing early due to his size at the moment, but she definitely wants to keep an eye on it. I really don't mind the idea of being induced early, to be honest. I'm worried about my anti-coagulant dosing, the weather, the timing, and lots of other little things... but whatever happens, happens.

I go back the day before Thanksgiving for my 36wk appointment (I'll actually be 35wks and 4 days then I think- have to go in early or late because of the holiday weekend) and we'll start the internal exams, as well as switching to Heparin that weekend.

We went to our breastfeeding class tonight, it was somewhat informative but rather redundant and repetitive. Way too many nipple photos/videos for me. Sorry, but a single photo or two to get an understanding of what she was talking about would have been more than enough. But then she had to show a video that was like 10 minutes long about signs/cues/latches and it was like several minute clips of basically the exact same footage... I think a single clip of each would have been sufficient. Then there were more photos of the things she already covered. I think the class could have been called "nipples for dummies." I wanted a class more geared towards basics of breastfeeding, issues that might arise, but this was just... really dumbed down. I know it was a "basics" class, but it felt like it was more of a "for those who've never heard of breastfeeding." If that makes sense.

It probably didn't help that I was about to pass out the entire session. So. tired. As I said, I had two hours of sleep last night, and then after our appointment I took a 4 hour nap but that obviously isn't enough. Can not function. And these braxton hicks contractions have increased the last few days (which is really uncomfortable), my heartburn is running wild, I feel like I'm going to throw up, my jaw/teeth hurt, and I have a migraine from hell. Sorry, I feel like total and utter crap right now. I think I'm just going to go ahead to bed. Ugh.

Huh-

I just realized that we're due next month... granted it's towards the end of the month, but it's still next month. I tried saying that outloud, but it sounded like a lie. I still don't feel pregnant, I mean I have my moments (braxton hicks contractions, movement, discomforts etc...) but it still feels unreal.

We have a baby class tonight; mostly for my husband's benefit because I want to laugh everytime he says, "How hard can it be?" and then he's all surprised when I tell him things. He doesn't have experience with infants, so I don't see the harm in taking a class; it certainly can't hurt.

Then next week we have our 34wk appointment and a breast feeding class.

And... the weekend of Thanksgiving we'll be 36wks, starting weekly appointments, internal exams, switching to Heparin, and going on maternity (or permanent) leave... and, that's in like 3 weeks now? Seriously?

I think things are really starting to sink in now.

I'm still scared of things going wrong, but I'm trying to enjoy this moment. I've made it this far, but there are still fears that I need to deal with. I know that this late in the game, the risks of loss are lower... but how do I explain this fear to people? I know the risk of a still birth is 3%, but we only had a 1% chance of losing 3 pregnancies in a row. What comfort can statistics give me? Most of the time I don't think about it, I just focus on today; but the worry is still there, where it'll stay. I do relish in the fact that I am so close, that this wonderful wiggling baby may soon be in my arms- but I want that so badly, I've dreamed of it for so long, that of course I'm going to worry. Who wouldn't fear losing something they love so much, and tried so hard for?

The closer we get the the estimated due date, the more anxious I grow. I worry about labor, about loss, about my own health. I get excited about holding him in my arms, of kissing his sweet face, of my husband finally meeting this precious boy. I'm anxious about when he'll come, will there be snow or ice making the drive hazardous, will he be early, 'on time', late? It seems like time has slowed down; at the same time I've been so busy that it seems to be passing me by, yet the next few milestones seem forever away. I still have so much to do.