A few things happened Saturday. It was busy, we went out to celebrate my husband's birthday (belatedly) shopped around and then stopped at my cousins at the end of the day.
- In the car, talking with my husband, he referred to the baby by the name we've chosen for him. Then he continued telling me how he wants to further his education/career so that Nombie will be proud of him. To which I replied, "What? You don't think he'll be proud of you anyway for being you?" because I think he'd be proud of him anyway, but then A- started talking about how he apparently wants to be the cool dad? I was laughing, but it was sweet. The thing that struck me most though, was that the whole time, he was talking as if Nombie is going to come home alive. Like he was going to live, and grow up. It was very sweet, and it made me smile.
At the same time it scares me, and worries me, because what if something happens? We're obviously not quite in the same place with our security in this pregnancy, but I'll admit I'm starting to get more hopeful too... just not in the same place as him yet. Of course, later Nombie went and decided not to move much at all, AND hid from the doppler... I found his heart beat and felt him the next day, but that was tense. He keeps flip flopping, and with the anterior placenta he has to be positioned a certain way for me to feel anything at all still. I'm 26 weeks now, I was hoping it'd be more consistent by now. But no such luck (*sigh*). I can still go a day without movement. It's makes me nervous.
- My cousin gave me a TON of hand me downs. I don't think Nombie is going to need much in the way of clothes for awhile yet! She also gave me her car seat and stroller, both need cleaned up but they're in great condition. We're also getting a pack n' play (or two) from her. I feel very lucky! I barely talk to this cousin, so it was a total shock. It really made my day. I know she was super glad to be rid of the stuff too! I went through it all the other night, and sorted it.
I still feel slighted about the whole situation with SIL1 giving all her hand-me-downs to SIL2. I don't remember if I posted about that... if you remember, they're both A-s sisters. SIL1 had a baby last year, and SIL2 is pregnant with her second baby.
Well, SIL1 gave all of her old stuff to SIL2 at the shower (a bassinet, receiving blankets, activity playmat, clothes, and baby carrier)... SIL2 said that she already had 2 bassinets, and 2 carriers. So SIL1 laughed and said, "Well you know who could use them then!?" and pointed to me. Yeah, love the public announcement about how you didn't bother considering giving us your hand-me-downs... we're just an afterthought. Nice.
Honestly, if it had been me in her shoes, I'd have split it up between the two pregnant women, or got them together and asked them to figure out what they want/need. I would never have only given to one of them, especially if they were due so close together. I know, I know... I can't expect the world to act with the same rationale as me. Maybe I'm overreacting to it- it's just feels like another reminder from the in-laws about how I'm not really family to them.
But that incident made me even more grateful for the unexpected kindness from my cousin. I really didn't think I'd be getting any hand-me-downs, let alone so much. And certainly not from someone I barely talk to, and haven't seen in a couple years. When we left her house, I just smiled because of her kindness. It really helped complete my day.
Seeing it all in our house is crazy. It makes me feel a little more like we might actually have a baby this time. We have baby stuff... in our house. Not just a handful of clothes/blankets tucked away out of sight, but stuff sitting out. It's scary, but it also makes it more real. We have three months and 1 week until our due date, our shower is in less than a month now, the invites are going out this week, we're working more on the nursery and home repairs... it's crazy.
I so hope that things continue going okay with Nombie. I want him to come home with us alive and well. I'm so thankful for every day that he's still with us, and I hope every day that he'll still be there tomorrow. I hate waiting 4 weeks between appointments... I wish it was Friday already.