I left the appointment feeling relieved.
Someone was going to help me.
I clutched the prescriptions in my hand and tucked them away safely into the dark recesses of my bag, safely in the book. And then went and got my blood drawn, all the while feeling the papers burning in my bag... afraid they'd go somewhere.
I have a chance.
I could blow it. Get pregnant... lose it too. It might not even work.
It could happen.
I used to think my back was stupid.
I hated it, it and it's swervy spine.
I hated it worse than any other part of my body, it caused me pain.
No, I didn't know hate then.
Hate is now reserved for my ovaries.
Stupid, stupid ovaries.
Why can't you just do what you're supposed to do!
I wonder if it's normal to curse your body parts for not functioning correctly?
Am I alone in this?