Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Dealing-

It's been exhausting here. Napping when the kids nap isn't an option unfortunately. Even on the days that I get enough sleep, I still struggle to function. I struggle to make coherent thoughts sometimes, so sorry if this is rambley- WORDS ARE HARD.

My PCOS issues are rearing their ugly heads in the form of skin tags and dark skin patches. I can't take supplements for my PCOS, since I don't know how much of what may cross my breast milk. Instead I stay on my Metformin, and hope that it can get things in check. I'm also hoping it can help me keep my weight in check. I can't really do a thing about weight loss because I need 1,000 extra calories a day to maintain my breast milk supply for the girls. Exercising is hard because I have such a small window of opportunity to do anything between feedings, and I'd rather use the time to relax or clean. So, I just work at making healthier choices and hope I can maintain.

I gained 73 lbs while pregnant, I've lost 42 since then leaving me with 31 lbs left to go. I started at a size 16 and now I'm back up to a size 22. My lack of wardrobe sucks... I had kept some of my larger clothing though, so that is at least a saving grace. It's taking me awhile to recover my stamina and strength, but I think I'm slowly getting there. I'll be honest, my body dysmorphia rears it's ugly head from time to time too. I'm really good at shutting myself up though, because really my body is pretty amazing. In the past year I have grown and sustained two other human beings, and I'm continuing to sustain them even now... I need to lay off my body! It did something I didn't even know it was capable of, and I owe it a lot.

I'm still exclusively nursing the twins. They are growing and thriving, and my supply seems to be keeping up. J seems to be going through a growth spurt or something, because she's been wanting to cluster feed. I am eating like a hobbit while nursing them, because I am hungry ALL THE TIME. I seriously eat every 2-3 hours; it's like the first/second trimester with them all over again. Except physically I feel much better than I did then, heh.

I went in and finally got some blood work done with my primary doctor. I was really putting it off. I need to go ahead and get some stuff done for me, I'm just terrible about doing it. It's hard to get away from the girls since I'm nursing though, and I just put things off and put things off...

So that's where things are. The girls are napping right now, and V is chilling out... this is a rare moment. I think I should go do something else now... like snack haha.

3 comments:

Melis.sa said...

Glad to hear from you!! I was always hungry nursing one baby so I can't imagine having 2!! I hope everything comes back normal with all your blood work!

Rebecca said...

I'm not nursing and I'm hungry! LOL
OMG YES I feel the same about the brain and not enough sleep. For me it is the endometriosis that is my issue. It continued to grow during pregnancy. Now I'll be back under the knife in January to remove the rest of it and the female organs too.

Celia said...

Six months out and it is a bit calmer. She is gearing up to crawl though and then I am screwed for real. I think of you frequently though I rarely have time alone. We are still EBF too and i am ENORMOUS and only grew one baby dude. It's ok. You have the rest of your life to lose the weight.