6 months-

V is 6 months old today. He's growing so fast, it's unreal. Sometimes when I hold him it just hits me all over again how much bigger he is now than when he was born. He's more than doubled his birth weight, and he's just growing longer and longer. He went through a growth spurt last week and I had to put away a ton of his clothes. It's amazing how clothes will fit him fine one week, then the next week they won't even button.

We have a lot of his stuff we keep meaning to take to the thrift store, but we just keep putting it off. Things are piling up. I have stuff of his that need to go in the attic too. Part of it is having a hard time letting go, but another is finding the time. There's so much I mean to do, but I'm just so busy anymore.

The kid is getting really mobile now. He still can't sit on his own, but he is a master of rolling both ways. When he wakes up in his pack'n'play now, the first thing he does is roll over onto his belly, rotate towards his toys, and use his legs to push against the sideboard to get to them. It's awesome, and it's scary... I have some preparing to do before he gets really mobile! But I have a feeling it won't be long now. Yikes.

He's starting to eat some purees, only a couple ounces a day. He really likes apples, pears, and carrots. Sweet potatoes were a NO. That doesn't really surprise me though, A and I hate sweet potatoes. Heh. When he's done eating, he lets me know by refusing or starting to blow raspberries with the food. The latter is his favorite, he thinks it's hilarious! I'll be honest, I do too... even if my face does end up covered in carrots from time to time.

I'm trying my hand at making homemade baby purees. I think it might be cheaper, and probably healthier too. We've tried jarred purees so far but I made some homemade tonight... so I guess I'll find out how that goes tomorrow. I made apples and carrots to start, since I know he normally likes those.

He's been going through a "cling to mommy" phase. He won't go down for a nap unless he falls asleep in my arms, or on the bed snuggled up next to me. Most of the time I can move him from me to the pack'n'play with no issues, but often enough he wakes up, then screams when he realizes what I'm doing. Sometimes I don't mind, I'll just cuddle him and watch TV for an hour. Sometimes though, it's really hard because I have dishes that need done, a floor that needs swept/mopped, I need to jog, I need to prepare dinner, etc... and I only have two arms. I keep hoping that it's a passing phase, but it's been almost a month now. It's been a lot worse this past two weeks. And this past week, he's been waking up at 5am to either cuddle or eat... he normally goes to bed at midnight and wakes up at 8-9am. So it's been rough.

And, he's up from his nap! I better go get a bottle ready.

Monthly weigh in-

I managed to get up to 3mph. Heck yeah! I still struggle with it, but I'm definitely getting stronger.

My workout consists of carrying 2lb weights in each hand for about 8-10 minutes, while jogging at 3mph. Then just jogging (with no weights), until I complete 2 miles. I usually walk to cool down for about 10-15 minutes. All in all, my workout has been taking me about 50-55 minutes. I used to only jog at 2.5mph, and do 30 minutes. So my workout has increased dramatically. Sometimes it just flies by, but other times (especially when I increase my speed) it's a real struggle.

My eating... I stay around 1,500-1800cal, more often towards the upper limit than I'd like, and I know I would do better if I kept myself at 1500cal. It's really hard, but I'm working on it.

My weight has been at a standstill for the past 2 weeks, I also recently increased my workout so maybe things are just regulating. It's a little disheartening, but I know that if I stick with it, and maybe tighten in my calories more, I can get back on track.

So, my weigh in... I started at 227lbs, and I'm at about 211lbs now. I believe I've lost 6lbs this month. I can definitely see the progress now too.

Since March 17, 2012:
Weight loss: 16lbs
Inches off hips: 4in
Inches off waist: 3.5in

Since New Years 2011 though? I'm down 39lbs from my original starting weight of 250lbs. I've lost 6.5in off my waist and 4.5in off my hips. My neck is also 2in smaller, I'm down 2 pants sizes, and my bra size has went down 3 band sizes.

Not bad!

Pushing through it-

I completed my first 5k yesterday. Walking, mind you. My friend and I came in dead last, but you know what? It doesn't matter, because the only thing we wanted to do was to finish that race. And we did it. It took us an hour and four minutes.

The pace we set was a fast walk, and we were going as fast as I jog. Which dealt me a fair blow to my ego. But, considering I had to use my inhaler just walking it... well, asthma blows. I really want to jog/run faster, right now I'm only at 2.8mph, which is a drop in the bucket. It's the fastest I can go though. I tried going faster, but a minute on 3mph and my asthma started acting up, despite using my inhaler.

That scares me. I don't think some of the people in my life understand this, but asthma is a scary disease. It terrifies me to be taking deep lungfuls of air, and yet feeling like I'm suffocating. My legs burning with exertion, I can power through, but that? No way. I use my inhaler, and I breathe easier but in by no means solves the problem; it just helps.

I used to have nightmares of being chased by bad people or monsters, and not being able to run fast enough, having an asthma attack, and dying

I used my asthma as a crutch for many years, saying, "I can't run, I have asthma." Or, "I can't play that game, I have asthma." And while to a certain extent that's true, I could still have done something. I wasn't handicapped, I could have used my inhaler or sat down at any time. I would hope that the people in my life would have understood. But it was just easier, and less frightening, to say, "I can't do that."

I don't want to live like this anymore. I have to find the balance between my limitations and what I can do.

I really like jogging, I like the feel of my feet hitting the treadmill, listening to a rhythmic song on my mp3 player, and letting my mind wander. I love the feeling of accomplishment I get when I make it to the next mile.

It's not the best exercise for someone with asthma. But man, I love it.

Rough week-

It's just been a rough week. V is spitting up a lot and cranky. I'm covered with bruises because I am coordination challenged, my favorite mishap seems to be walking into the coffee table. Although I did walk into the end of the wood framed futon the other day, and I have a hand sized bruise on my thigh to prove it. Ugh. I also seem to enjoy hitting my elbows on the cupboards- resulting in yet more bruises! I don't know what's wrong with me.

Oh, and then we had a small electrical fire the other day. We were damn lucky I was downstairs and awake when it happened, and the cats alerted me to the issues... in case the thumping/popping/buzzing noises weren't enough to clue me in. I quickly put the fire out with a fire extinguisher, and ran to the basement to flip the breaker switch to kill the power. So then we spent the rest of the night fixing that and cleaning up the mess from it. Luckily it didn't spread anywhere except that outlet, it didn't get the floor or the curtains... it was as contained as it could be. But it was SCARY as HELL.

I don't know if I ever mentioned on here, but my biggest fear (aside from the zombie apocalypse) is having my house catch fire. My great-grandmother died in a house fire when my grandma was only six. She had ran back in because she thought the kids were still in the house, and then she died a few days later in the hospital as a result of that fire. I don't know why, but that has been a huge phobia of mine since I heard that story. So there you go... But, everything is alright. The house is okay, we're okay; I'm a little shaken, but I'm fine.

We went to a gaming convention today, hoping to get a photo with some geeky stars we love. We missed them because we were running late, and won't have a chance to try again tomorrow unfortunately... so I'm a bit bummed about that. That's really not a big deal though, considering! However, while we were there  I noticed that I developed a migraine. Now, I used to get migraines several times a week, and until today I didn't even realize that I've been migraine free for months. Like, I didn't even NOTICE. I've gotten 1-3 migraines a week since I was a child, I got used to them and I learned to function through the pain (it sucked)... and yet, I just went months without one. Now I want to know what I did to bring this one on... or rather, what was keeping them away in the first place? I mean, I got a headache here and there over the past few months, but I honestly can't remember my last migraine. I forgot how much they sucked. Ugh.

So, rumble ramble... I'm grumpy, the week hasn't been going to plan... but we're okay.